


What we missed out

by tilimwornout



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Eventual Smut, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Sex, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:54:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 25,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27432367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tilimwornout/pseuds/tilimwornout
Summary: Seulgi has never done anything in the prescribed sequence. She's in her 1st year of college when she should be in her 3rd and she enrolled in university before looking for a place to stay in Seoul. Enter Wendy, a busy pre-med student in her 3rd year looking for someone to replace a roommate who graduated last semester.or As if we don't already have enough college roommate fake dating wenseul AUs
Relationships: Kang Seulgi/Park Sooyoung | Joy/Son Seungwan | Wendy, Kang Seulgi/Son Seungwan | Wendy
Comments: 8
Kudos: 87





	1. Chapter 1

She should probably have looked for a place to stay before enrolling in university, but Seulgi has never done things in the prescribed sequence.

There’s a freedom board on campus where students are allowed to post anything and she finds a few ads looking for a roommate.

She skips over the ones looking for a male roommate and a few strongly worded ones from people who clearly have had enough from their previous experiences. There’s a rather cute though over-decorated one, the rent just within her budget, that catches her eye.

The girl who posted the ad is looking for a roommate who’s around her age, will split chores and rent, and doesn’t mind that she’s a busy pre-med student who may occasionally be behind cleaning her share of the space. Her previous roommate graduated last semester and she honestly just misses having another person around who’s hopefully just as quiet.

There are two bedrooms, a shared bathroom, and an open space that serves as the living room, dining space, and kitchenette. The place is 10 minutes away on foot from the back entrance of the campus.

It’s an incredibly detailed post, handwritten too, but Seulgi supposes the person would only want to room with someone who’s willing to go through the trouble of reading the whole thing anyway.

She texts the number on the poster, decides to take the poster itself with her, and starts thinking about lunch.

Her potential future roommate (not that she has any other candidates) replies as she’s out to get a black milk tea after eating.

Seulgi jokes the girl wasn’t kidding when she said she was busy and thankfully she does catch that it’s just playful teasing.

They agree on a time to meet, the girl sends her the address, and when Seulgi checks her watch there’s just enough time to walk as long as she doesn’t get lost.

The building is not bad. The usual. It looks like it was built for student accommodations in the first place. She passes by a shared kitchen and lounge area on her way up, which she assumes is for those living in the goshiwons. Tiny dorm-type rooms averaging 3.5 square meters with nothing more than a bed, a desk, a chair, and a cupboard.

Seulgi wouldn’t mind living in a small space, she doesn’t own a lot of things, but she would love to live somewhere more dignified after where she’s been in the two years prior.

“So you’re my age, but you’re still a freshman because you voluntarily enlisted in the military?” the pre-med student asks her once they’re seated at the dining table.

She’s a busy girl, so it’s reasonable for her to get the basics of Seulgi’s background out of the way. This girl prepared interview questions, for goodness’ sake.

The questions include where she lived prior, what her experiences are with roommates. Seulgi hopes she makes a good impression: if you ask her how she survived living in the barracks with girls who were noticeably much tougher and rougher, it’s because she knows how to mind her own business.

(She’s still a little slow, but the experience made her more perceptive.)

“If anyone ever breaks in, I know judo,” Seulgi adds, hoping to lighten up the mood.

“Oh good,” the other girl says, shoulders relaxing. The relief that takes over her expression is a surprise to Seulgi. “I barely know how to throw a punch.”

The interviewee laughs. “So am I going to find out your name or that’s for when you’re sure about accepting me as a roommate?”

The girl in front of her turns red. “Oh my god. I’m sorry. It totally slipped my mind. I’m Seungwan. You can call me Wendy. I’m in my 3rd year, majoring in Medical Laboratory Science.”

“It’s great meeting you, Seungwan,” Seulgi smiles. This Wendy girl is adorable and she didn't judge her the way she expected her to. She thinks they can get along well.

“How did you go from the military to majoring in Fashion Marketing?”

“I was in the marines,” Seulgi supplies. “My CSAT scores weren’t good enough the first try. It was devastating but my parents wouldn’t have been able to afford sending me here if I got in right away anyway. So I did what the boys from my high school usually do when they can’t get into the university they want.”

“You enlisted, even if as a woman you don’t have to?” Wendy asks, more curious than confused.

Seulgi gives her one big nod. “It worked for me. My parents had one less mouth to feed for 18 months. They got to save money and I saved up my salary as well. Used my free time to study and build a portfolio. I was discharged in time for the CSAT.”

Seungwan is visibly impressed but Seulgi can't quite tell her it wasn't an experience she enjoyed all the way. That's another story for another time, if they do become roommates and Wendy gets her to open up.

"When are you moving in?" she asks, holding her hand out for Seulgi to shake. Her firm grip was rather impressive.

"Are you planning to specialize in surgery?"

The pre-med student raises her brows. "How could you tell?"

Seulgi smiles. "Your hands." She had to get a few stitches while in training, more from misunderstandings than the expected occupational hazard. The doctor's hands felt like those of the girl in front of her.

Seungwan looks at them and chuckles, as if it's the first time she's heard this from anyone.

"I can move in as soon as tomorrow. I've already packed my stuff."

Wendy is better in baking than cooking and Seulgi had her share of shifts in the military kitchen. They make the most of making whatever they want for themselves before academic work fills up their hours.

Her new roommate turns out to be a few days younger than Seulgi. She doesn't talk about her insecurities of being 'behind' others her age but Seungwan must have read her mind.

"By the time you graduate," she says while they're going through their class schedules together, "I'll still be in med school."

"I'll start earning money before you do," Seulgi jokes lightly, to which her roommate replies that she already has.

"I wish I could stop living off of my parents' money. But everyone is on their own journey and their own pace, right?" Wendy asks, and there's something about her gaze that makes Seulgi feel seen and understood.

She always tries to meet people who look at others with unmistakable eyes.

Seulgi learns quickly that Seungwan is nosy but she's the opposite of judgmental.

"What are your feelings about mandatory enlistment?" Seulgi asks as she writes a paper for her Korean Politics class.

"Can I be honest about my thoughts on the military in general?"

Seulgi nods. "If you're scared of offending me, don't be. There were a lot of things about it that I didn't agree with but… I had limited options."

The other girl frowns. Her gaze is apologetic but not of pity. "I'm not a fan of the toxic masculinity or the trigger-happy, power-hungry people that thrive in it. That, and it doesn't feel like a safe space for women or the LGBT."

Seulgi's hands pause above her laptop's keyboard. She bites down on her lip and nods, understanding. She knows that too well. "It isn't. Imagine telling women they should be like men, but drawing the line at also liking women."

Her response makes Wendy laugh a little and Seulgi laughs with her. There's the question hanging in the air and it's quiet before they address it.

"I'm sorry, but are you..?"

"Yeah, I’m gay."

"Oh god. Me too."

They start laughing again and relief unlike anything Seulgi's ever known washes over her. What were the odds?

"At least I don't have to lie to my roommate anymore when I go on dates," Seungwan murmurs shyly.

"The pre-med student has time to go on dates?"

Her roommate chuckles. "Most of them are just happy to meet another queer woman. So I haven't really had a real girlfriend since high school, if that counts at all."

"Wow. There are gay girls in your high school?" Seulgi asks, realizing she's still ignoring the text cursor on the screen in front of her. When she sees Wendy is still working on her lab manuals while this conversation is happening, she tries to continue typing.

"Studied abroad for middle school and high school," Seungwan explains. "Went back here for university."

"Why did you come back here? You’re super smart. I feel like you should be in an Ivy League school," Seulgi says. 

The topic seems to have flicked a switch. "I wish! Do you know it’s much harder to apply for university here than overseas?”

“I would know,” Seulgi says. She fails to inject humor in her tone.

Seungwan apologizes, worried she hit a nerve. Seulgi tells her it’s alright and lets her continue speaking. The former overseas student explains that it’s easier to get high grades in North America since the curriculum is much less difficult. As a result, she had more leverage for university applications.

Seulgi feels it again, the gap, but reminds herself she’s doing the best with the hand she was dealt. It’s not Seungwan’s fault she was born into a luckier household.

“When I got back here,” Wendy continued. “I didn't even know what 'right triangle' is in Korean. We speak Korean at home but there was so much vocabulary to catch up with. And the idioms. Good thing I found a tutor for Korean Literature. Couldn't let my average slip because of a general education class, you know?"

And that's another thing about Wendy. She rambles a lot. Lucky for her, Seulgi is more of a listener than a talker. She spends her silence trying to calm herself.

"You paid a tutor?" Seulgi asks, moving the conversation along as she feels better.

Seungwan nods. "Just one of those upperclassmen who sign up with the library. He was super nice though I've forgotten his name. He tried to ask me out but you know."

"Hey, I have to be careful about you offering to help me with Algebra and Chemistry then," Seulgi jokes, genuinely now. 

Her roommate throws a ball of paper at her. "You're cute but you're kind of gross, Seulgi."

And just like that, she’s pulled out of her thoughts completely. 

"I'm not!"

Seungwan rolls her eyes. "Try washing your hands more."

"Is this your first time drinking?" her roommate asks when she comes to pick her up at a norebang near the campus.

The text she received 13 minutes prior was barely comprehensible. It doesn’t help that even when sober, Seulgi types in run-on sentences and never knows when to punctuate. When she does, it’s with emojis.

Seulgi is too drunk to be embarrassed about her poor alcohol tolerance. After the program acquaintance party, she fell in with a group of kids all younger than her. With the mission to establish herself as the cool older sister figure, she didn’t take much convincing to follow them to an afterparty. The state she’s in has ruined her chances at that, but she doesn’t realize it yet.

"No," she hiccups. "The kids thought I was lying when I said I couldn't drink much. Some of them were drinking as early as middle school."

"And you let them make you drink more than you know you should," Seungwan sighs. "Not sure if you're as kind as I thought or you're just a pushover."

Seulgi winces at the beginnings of a headache. "I was in the marines! I'm not a pushover."

"Sure," the other girl snorts, seating her at a bench outside of a convenience store. "Stay here."

"Seungwan," she whines, reaching out to her dramatically. "Where are you going?"

Seulgi slumps over the table and closes her eyes before her roommate can answer. She must have fallen asleep because Seungwan had to tap her awake. When her eyes fully open, there's a cup of noodles and a whole liter of water in front of her.

"I can't carry you all the way back to our place," Wendy says, sipping on a hot cup of coffee that smells so strong even Seulgi feels like she could wake up from it. "So eat up, drink water. Get sober."

She mumbles a thank you and watches her roommate pull her notes out of the bag she had on her.

"You're studying?"

"Big quiz tomorrow," Wendy replies, uncapping a highlighter after spending some time choosing the right color.

Seulgi apologizes for dragging her out here and the pre-med student jokes she should really, really find other friends.

"Not like you have any."

"I'm busy."

"By default, I'm your best friend," Seulgi says with a grin. She already feels better after her first sip of the broth and a bit of the stir-fried kimchi packet Seungwan also bought for her.

"Maybe I should take my own advice. Can't have my best friend be an overgrown baby," Seungwan sighs and Seulgi chuckles, knowing it's without malice. Bickering is just part of their dynamic. Some things they say might sound too mean to bystanders but there's no bite to it.

"Don't act like you don't act cute with me to get what you want, Wannie," she shoots back.

Wendy squints at the nickname and slams her notes shut dramatically. "Alright. You're sober enough. Scarf that down and pay for the taxi."

Seulgi lets out a soundless laugh. "Sure. Got to pay you back for coming to pick me up, Wannie."


	2. Chapter 2

"So there's this girl in a few of my classes," Seulgi begins as they sort their laundry. She frowns at the state of her favorite sleep shirt.

"You have a crush?"

Seulgi groans. "Can you let me talk first?" After a moment, she sighs and adds that yes, she finds this girl super cute and sexy. “And she speaks English! I think she studied abroad.”

Her roommate rolls her eyes. “I speak English and I studied abroad,” she says, putting an emphasis on each “I”.

“She’s tall, Seungwan. Like a model,” Seulgi adds. She never misses the chance to take a jab at her roommate’s height. Wendy sighs “whatever” and starts folding a blanket dramatically. "Anyway. She signed up for the self-defense class at our dojo."

"Dojo?"

"Training hall," she explains. It’s easy to forget that outside their apartment, they move in vastly different circles. "Where I've been doing judo every weekend."

Seungwan nods and tosses one of Seulgi's shirts towards her. "Okay, what's the issue?"

"They're paying me to teach some of the classes but I'm scared, Seungwan."

"What happened to Ms. I Was In The Marines?" her roommate teases, her expression quickly replaced by something resembling worry. "Didn't you have to spar with girls bigger than you?"

Seulgi laughs at herself. "Boys too. But I'm not attracted to them. What if I embarrass myself?"

"I can't really count on you not to embarrass yourself, Seul. That's kind of your thing."

"Gee, thanks. You really are an amazing best friend."

Seungwan smirks. She doesn't protest the title anymore. "If she’s into girls maybe she’ll think you’re cool. It’s a close contact sport so even if you inevitably end up not confessing because you’re awkward as hell, you still get to touch her."

"Great!" she says sarcastically, clasping her hands together. "Maybe when I pin her down to the ground or the other way around we'll have an intense moment where our faces are too close."

"And nothing happens but you both spend too much time thinking about it, awkwardly distance yourselves, until it becomes too much and you share a heated kiss in the locker room," her roommate adds, walking over to hold Seulgi's face in her hands and make kissy faces at her.

They're already smiling way too much about this, Seulgi accidentally knocking their foreheads together when she looks down to laugh. Seungwan pushes her off with a laugh and snaps a towel against her backside, telling her to work faster when Seulgi yelps in response.

As much as Seungwan doesn't hold anything back with the witty responses and occasional rough play, she doesn't hold back when it comes to physical affection either.

Her time in the marines made her so used to playful violence that it surprised Seulgi when Wendy would not hesitate to hug her, hold her hand, or lean onto her shoulder.

They've fallen into the habit of doing homework together in one of their rooms, unintentionally falling asleep there, even when Seungwan would sometimes be woken up by a fist smacking her face in the middle of the night.

Seulgi would apologize by making breakfast in the morning. It's happened so much, her pancakes have improved significantly since.

Seulgi makes it through the first class just fine. Her crush looks extra hot in the uniform even with her awkward movements. She gets to assist her directly by the second session, and by the third they’ve gotten rather comfortable with each other.

Or as comfortable as Seulgi can get around someone she really likes. She’s still close to passing out when the girl smiles at her sweetly on the way out.

The part-time instructor shouldn’t let herself get distracted. That lesson ingrains itself into her head when she fails to dodge her sparring partner while watching someone else teach her crush at the far end of the dojo.

It still doesn’t hurt as much as what she sees on her way home.

"I don't think I will be pursuing her," Seulgi tells Seungwan during one of their study breaks.

There's a psychological thriller playing on the TV as she stares at the consumer research report on her laptop. She reluctantly submits it to the online classroom after deciding there's not much else she can do to improve it.

"Why?"

"I think she has a boyfriend."

Seungwan clicks her tongue. "Yikes. Are you sure you're not getting the wrong idea though?"

"It's hard to get the wrong idea when I saw the guy pick her up from class and kiss her on the cheek," Seulgi answers. She closes her laptop and places it on the table, hugs her knees to her chest.

"Please tell me he's ugly."

"He's not. That's part of the problem."

"What's the other part of the problem?"

Seulgi turns so she's facing Seungwan, who's now also turned towards her as she sits with her legs crossed.

"We're doing a final project together," she replies. "She asked me to be her partner."

Her roommate exhales deeply. "Don't work on it here."

"You're jealous?" Seulgi manages to tease despite her heartache. She rests a cheek on her knee and looks at the girl across her.

"You don't have a chance with her, why would I be jealous?" Seungwan responds, hitting her with a cushion lightly.

She just made the mistake of giving Seulgi ammunition. The pre-med student realizes it too late. There's already a cheeky grin on the other girl's face.

"So you would be jealous if I had a chance with her?"

"No!" she replies rather quickly, earning a hearty laugh from Seulgi. "One, I don't want you to disturb me. Two, you shouldn't give yourself the opportunity to do anything stupid by being alone together. Work on neutral ground."

Seulgi pouts. "You really don't wanna see how hot this girl is?"

"Seulgi." Seungwan lets out an exasperated sigh. "You can show me a picture if you really want to show off. Doesn't change that it's not going anywhere. You're smarter than this."

"Me? Smart? That's fresh."

Her roommate reaches over to touch her cheek and rub a thumb across it. "You are. Except you’ve been talking to me about her for a while and you haven't even told me her name. I was starting to think she’s hideous and you’re embarrassed by how much you like her."

"Oh," Seulgi beams, leaning into Wendy's hand. "I wasn’t expecting you to know her so I thought it was pointless. Her name is Park Sooyoung. She’s also a freshman in my program."

Seungwan's hand squeezes her cheek just a touch tighter. "Joy? Joy Park?"

Seulgi tries to pull away, wincing. "You know her?"

"She led me on in high school!" she explains, patting Seulgi's cheek firmly. "You made the right decision not to pursue her."

"You let a younger girl lead you on?"

Her roommate pushes her off and sighs. "She's always been gorgeous. And sweet. We were really good friends then she realized I had feelings for her. She's not a bad person. Sooyoung just thrives on attention and affection. I was wrong to think it was ever going anywhere."

"And you didn't know she moved here for university either?"

"It was always part of her family's plan," she shrugs. "I got busy. We lost touch. And now… look at you."

Seulgi shrugs back.

"A boyfriend though?" Seungwan grimaces.

"Let's date each other instead," Seulgi mumbles, laughing at her own idea.

"Fake date just to see how she reacts to it?" she asks, looking as if she's questioning herself for even humoring her best friend.

"You should really stop entertaining my bad ideas."

"I should," she laughs.

The freshman lightly kicks her calf. "Do you think she would buy it? Am I someone she would think you would date?"

"No offense," Seungwan starts. Seulgi kicks her again when she laughs. "I'm into the unattainably perfect kind of girl. You're more of a girl next door, if the girl next door had abs."

Seulgi wheezes at the comment about her abs. She remembers Seungwan being ridiculous when she found out about them even if Seulgi didn't think they were a big deal. It's not like she exercised with the goal of achieving them. It’s for stress relief.

"Well, a lot of people don't end up dating their type," she reasons.

"What's your type, then?"

She thinks back to her crushes over time. "The kind of girls who are so gorgeous they make it hard to just talk."

"So you're saying I'm ugly because you can talk to me so comfortably?" Seungwan asks, holding a hand up to her chest.

"You're pretty!" Seulgi says defensively. "But even if you have a mean streak towards me–" Seungwan snorts "–you're super polite and forward with your kindness. It's impossible not to feel comfortable with you."

"I think you can convince Sooyoung you're in love with me if we tried," Wendy teases. Or tries, because she's the one who's blushing. She's always been bad at accepting compliments even when they both jokingly fish for them.

She thinks about it for a while and Seungwan buries her head in her hands in frustration.

"It might work,” Seulgi ponders. “I haven't said or implied that I'm single. Or that I've never kissed a girl."

Another thing about Wendy is she can be too blunt with Seulgi. "You're a virgin?"

"You didn't have to put it that way. Thanks. Kang Seulgi is a late bloomer, what's new," she mumbles. Another thing about Seulgi is she can never look like she's annoyed. She's always on the brink of laughing at herself.

Seungwan scoots up closer and takes Seulgi's hands in hers. "No, babe. I'm not judging you! We all lead different lives. It's just surprising, you know?"

She lets out a small "hm".

"You're attractive, I'm not gonna lie. I guess it's just hard to meet girls who are into girls around here?"

Seulgi nods and her shoulders ease even if she continues to speak shyly. "And I don't want it to be just anyone. Just so I can say I have."

"Wow, a hopeless romantic," Seungwan squeezes her hands. "I should have known from all the romantic comedies you make me watch."

"You say that as if you don't squeal or sob when we watch them," Seulgi counters.

Her roommate just rolls her eyes. "Okay. I don't want to go hard on it but if you want to do the pretend girlfriend thing, I'm here for it. Haven't done anything stupid in a while."

"Stop. You're making me actually consider it."

Wendy shrugs. "Call me babe when I call while you're working together. If she asks to hang out outside of working together, tell her you have prior commitments. Let my name slip during one of the calls."

"Wendy or Seungwan?"

Her roommate grins. "See, that's more like it! Anyway. She used to call me Wannie too."

"Ah. No wonder you hated it."

"But you're an exception," she says sweetly. "Just be natural about it, alright? If we ever have to act like a couple in person, just play along with what I do."

Seulgi sighs. "Alright. One month left in the semester. It's fun doing something dumb once in a while."

Seungwan cups her cheeks and kisses her nose, making Seulgi scrunch up her face in disgust. "Good girl. And I'm happy you never told her you're single and never been kissed before. That's such a lame fuckboy move."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so it begins... good luck, everyone


	3. Chapter 3

To be fair to Sooyoung, she works hard and she's smart too. Their first meeting is in a café in the student university center's dining hall. As soon as they've set up, they turn the parts of the project into small, actionable tasks first and divide the work. The younger girl even goes as far as creating a time table for their tasks so they have a week for revisions before the final output is due.

Seungwan didn’t have to warn Seulgi that Sooyoung loves touch in any form. She experienced it throughout the semester, more when Sooyoung signed up for the self-defense class and needed a lot of direct instruction.

It’s not good for Seulgi’s poor gay heart to have two beautiful, affectionate girls in her life but at least Seungwan is just a friend and far more manageable.

Seulgi gets a text from Seungwan, asking if she could call with winking emojis at the end.

“I’m sorry, I have to take this,” she excuses herself, and Sooyoung looks at her weird. She must be wondering what is so confidential she can't answer it at the table. When she’s up from her seat, but still close enough for Sooyoung to hear, she says her line. “Baby, hi. Why did you call?”

Seulgi looks back to hold out a palm towards Sooyoung to gesture “wait”. Her project partner looks fairly surprised. It’s working, she figures.

“Baby,” Seungwan repeats, a wheeze turning into laughter. “Seriously. I could take ‘babe’ but not ‘baby’.”

Seulgi shakes her head. She leans on the other side of a wall separating the cafe from the rest of the dining hall. “It slipped. The last syllable wasn’t supposed to be there.”

“Right. Just let me know if you do like being called ‘baby’, Seul. I can do that,” Seungwan says, her voice dropping low and husky. Seulgi knows she’s just playing but she didn’t know her voice could do _that_. “How did she react?”

“She looked surprised.”

Seungwan hums. “Either she thinks you’re an incel and can’t believe you’re dating or she’s disappointed to hear you’re dating someone.”

“I think ‘baby’ worked better than ‘babe’ would have,” she says, ignoring what her roommate just said. “You call me ‘babe’ all the time.”

“But you are a babe, babe. Need to boost your self-confidence a little bit. Babe is sexy but baby is cute, you know?”

“And I thought you weren’t going hard on playing your part,” Seulgi mumbles. “Hey, I need to get back to work. What do you want for dinner?”

“You,” her roommate purrs, laughing when Seulgi whines in response. “I mean, you? What do you want?”

Maybe she was wrong about Seungwan being more manageable. “Soft tofu stew?”

“I’ll drop by a supermarket on my way home, baby,” Wendy responds with her more saccharine tone, ending the call before Seulgi can respond.

Sooyoung smiles at her apologetically when she gets back to their table. “Looks like something super important.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry. It was my… roommate,” she answers, hesitating on purpose.

The younger girl raises her brows. “You call your roommate ‘baby’?”

This is her cue to act flustered, except she actually is and her lips are pursed together as she pretends to type.

“I didn’t pin you down to be the type to live with a lover before marriage,” Joy continues.

Now she’s just offended. “You think I’m a prude?” She quietly notes Joy’s use of ‘lover’ instead of ‘boyfriend’ or ‘girlfriend’. The marriage part throws her off a bit.

Sooyoung giggles. “Actually, it’s hard to pin you down as anything at all. You look all cool when you’re serious and hard at work but there are times you just seem so soft and innocent.”

“I’m just a boring person,” Seulgi replies, starting to gather her things when she sees the other girl do the same.

“Clearly interesting enough for that lucky someone to date.”

The older girl smiles smugly. “You think they’re lucky, huh?”

“Don’t act like you don’t know how guys and girls in our program talk about you,” Joy replies as she zips her backpack close.

“People talk about me?” Guys and girls? Now that’s a confidence booster if she ever heard one.

“You’re kind of a campus heartthrob. You don’t know?” the girl asks. Seulgi shakes her head. And she couldn’t get Joy? She wonders if it’s because of the reputation she didn’t even know about. “They were right about you being kind of oblivious. No offense.”

“I know the part about being oblivious,” she replies, making Joy laugh. “Now that you’ve mentioned it, I was wondering why people are way too willing to help me when I’m older.”

“I actually thought you were my age or younger when we met,” Sooyoung confesses. “You look young. Something about you makes people want to take care of you.”

“So I look like a helpless child?” Seulgi jokes.

The younger girl shakes her head. “You help others patiently and you’re easy to get along with. Almost like you’re spreading yourself too thin, so people want to make sure someone’s looking out for you too. Now I know that someone is.”

Seulgi warms up at the thought of Seungwan as someone who looks out for her. Even if they bicker a lot, Seungwan is a great friend and they take care of each other well. It’s only been a few months but they’ve saved each other many, many times.

"You look so in love," Sooyoung coos. Seulgi suddenly feels hyper aware of her face. "Is it that serious? I mean, you live together. It must be."

"Yeah," she decides to say. "Feels like we've known each other our whole lives. Wish we could have met sooner."

The younger girl clutches her heart. “Now I feel bad I only date for fun.”

Seulgi laughs awkwardly. So she isn’t serious with the guy and she let that stop her. Now she’s in this _arrangement_ with her roommate. Good job jumping to conclusions, Seulgi. “Don’t tell your boyfriend that.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Sooyoung corrects. Adding insult to injury. Great job, Seulgi. “We haven’t defined the relationship. Am I a horrible person for stringing him along like this?”

Like she did Seungwan? Maybe. Seungwan said she isn't a bad person but... Seulgi isn't supposed to reveal she knows that anyway. How do you even respond to that?

"Maybe you'll realize you like him more than you thought," Seulgi tells her instead. "But it would be kinder for you to be honest about where it's heading much sooner."

Sooyoung huffs. “He’s just so nice and cute. I feel like I don’t like him as much as I’m expected to. Isn’t love supposed to be crazy and passionate?”

Is it?

“I don’t think ‘love’ is even the right word,” the younger girl adds.

“Maybe it is crazy and passionate during your honeymoon phase. But when I look at my parents and,” she pauses, meeting Sooyoung’s curious eyes. “And what I have now, I think love is built over small moments.”

Seulgi knows she’s a hopeless romantic, but she doesn't even recognize who's speaking using her voice right now.

She apologizes when she arrives at the apartment later than promised. The conversation with Sooyoung ended up becoming a whole heart to heart talk about love, life, and relationships.

Seungwan props an elbow against the counter and scratches her head. “So you’ve totally blown any chance with Joy since she’s convinced you’re in a loving, committed relationship.”

“I don’t think I’d want my first relationship to be with someone who only dates for fun,” Seulgi answers. “First real relationship, I mean. Wasn’t that the plan? To see how she reacts to me being taken.”

Her roommate pulls out the chair for her and makes her sit at the table. Dinner is already served and she’s relieved to feel more like her child than her fake girlfriend. "The plan was to see how she'd react to you dating me specifically."

"We'll get there," Seulgi reassures her. "An unexpected outcome is that I finally made another friend."

Seungwan fakes an enthusiastic cheer. "Yey, Seulgi."

“It’s weird talking to her about all that, though. It’s like I’ve actually convinced myself I’m in love with you,” she laughs. Seungwan fakes disgust.

“Your sappy, romantic self is finally useful,” her roommate responds. "I almost forgot she's like that too."

Seulgi shrugs and starts eating. "It wouldn't have worked, would it? Dreamers need someone more realistic to ground them."

The other girl finally joins her at the dining table. "I thought the military would have made you jaded and cold."

"I thought so too," Seulgi muses. She thanks her for the meal. “How was your coffee date with that Business major, by the way?”

Seungwan makes a slicing motion across her neck. “She’s hot but she talks about herself too much.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Might update daily because I have poor self-control! I keep adding onto it I must stop. Please stream Be Your Enemy by Taemin ft. Wendy and give Heart Stop by Taemin ft. Seulgi a stream too ♡


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mention of blood! Drama~ kind of. Please give Joy's cover of George's Look At Me a listen. Wendy also covered it once! The lyrics... are clearly the feelings of one of the characters here.

The whole pretend girlfriend thing has its perks. Seulgi has never felt so taken care of by anyone who isn't her mother.

Wendy insists the first step is to convince themselves they're actually dating before they can convince anyone else. Seulgi thinks it's unnecessary. Joy already buys it.

She just doesn't know it's Seungwan who she's "dating" yet. Phase two involves a lunchbox she prepared for Seulgi to share with her project partner during one of their meetings. There's a note subtly signed "Wan" although the hearts scribbled on them are anything but subtle.

"How did you get so lucky?" Sooyoung pouts when she sees the lunchbox. "If this is their way of marking their territory, tell them I'm backing off."

"Oh they know you're seeing someone," Seulgi says, chuckling. Backing off? Was she advancing in the first place? Very Seulgi of her to miss the signs if there were any.

Sooyoung eyes the note but keeps her hands to herself. "About that… I broke it off."

“You did?” Seulgi is more concerned than happy upon hearing the news. Breakups are rarely easy.

"Yeah," she confirms. "Our conversation made me think about a lot of things. He was pretty chill about it. I guess we both knew it wasn't anything serious."

Yeah, no. Joy is sweet and funny and gorgeous and smart but playing with her would be playing with fire.

The older girl lays out the food for them as she thinks. "If that's what makes you happy, then you made the right choice. Life is too short to waste time on the wrong person."

"Is she the right person?" Sooyoung asks, placing a piece of kimbap in her mouth. "Your girlfriend."

Seulgi blushes. Right. Sooyoung didn't even know the person she's "dating" is a woman.

"You don't have to step on eggshells around me," Joy tells her. "I may be Christian on paper but I'm not a homophobe."

The last word almost makes Seulgi wince. She forces a smile. "Yeah. I'd like to think she is."

"You love her a lot, don't you?"

She nods. As a friend, sure. "A lot."

"If I didn't know you had a girlfriend, I would have thought you liked me," Sooyoung says. She's not entirely wrong. There’s a pout on her lips but a playful twinkle in her eyes. "You were acting like this unnie I had in high school."

“Was I?” she asks, chuckling for effect. “What about her?”

"My family lived abroad for a few years and she was the only other Korean girl in school," Joy shares. "We were in choir together and did some musical theater too. It was so funny. She joined the church choir even if she's agnostic because she just wanted to sing."

"Are you still in touch?" Seulgi prods, pretending not to know as she eats faster than she should.

Sooyoung says they aren’t. "She moved back here for university and we just stopped talking. I feel bad now because I think I led her on. I'm like Tinkerbell, I die without attention."

"So she's your Peter Pan."

Sooyoung lets out a loud "ha". It's rare for her to be laughing because of Seulgi, not at her. "Ironic because her name is Wendy."

And where does Seulgi go from here?

Phase three, apparently. Her phone lights up and she answers on the first ring without thinking.

"Seul."

"Wan?" Seulgi's eyes flit towards Sooyoung who mouths it's okay.

"Are you still with her? I'm sorry.”

“It’s alright, babe.” she says reassuringly. Maybe taking up acting classes in high school was a good idea. Ah, her failed celebrity dreams. “What’s up?”

“I forgot my keys,” Seungwan replies. “So we’ll have to go home together.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” she frowns. “Unlike you, I have a copy of my girlfriend’s schedule so I know where to pick you up and when your classes end.”

Seungwan lets out a small “aw”. “Are you sure you’ve never dated before? You’re really good at this. Anyway, thank you. I’ll see you.”

"See you. I love you." Pause. Seulgi tries to relax her shoulders, tells herself it’s all part of the act. We all get a little carried away sometimes.

"I love you too, Seulgi," Seungwan replies and she feels her brain short-circuit.

The call ends. Too much.

Seulgi places her phone face down on the table and taps her fingers against its back.

Her roommate is a damn good actress, that's what she is. And always doing the unnecessary to get a reaction out of her.

She hopes her expression comes off as part of the concerned girlfriend act.

“Was that her?" Sooyoung asks, watching Seulgi like she just witnessed the love story of the century. "It feels like you've been together for a while but you still get so flustered. I want that."

"It's only been a few months," she replies. That was one truth. They have not known each other that long. Adding more details to a lie makes it feel more believable but she doesn’t trust herself to remember all that. “One day, we weren’t even each other’s type. Before we knew it we started to see each other in a different light.”

The younger girl sighs dreamily. “Love is really unpredictable.”

“What do we do if by some twist of fate, she likes me?” Seulgi asks.

Wendy sighs as she inspects the cut on Seulgi’s forehead. Whoever she sparred with today must have some anger issues. Cuts and scratches are common in any contact sport, but it looks like they hurt her deeper than the usual accidental scratch.

“We kind of have a more urgent issue at hand, Seul,” the pre-med student replies. “You’re lucky I dropped by.”

Seulgi winces when she presses a piece of gauze against the injury. “Thanks for the brownies, by the way.”

“You’re welcome,” she mumbles. “Though I doubt you got to have one.”

"Did you see her? She was on her way home when you got here."

Seungwan nods. "She didn't see me. Which is good. I wouldn't have known what to say."

The athlete shrugs. “Really, though. I know I can be oblivious but the stuff she says… she even broke it off with the guy. What if she likes me?”

“Did you hit your head that hard?” Wendy asks, frowning at the amount of blood on the gauze. “Shit. Maybe you did. I think you need stitches.” She gets up to look through the medical supplies in the judo’s staff room and Seulgi keeps her eyes on her until she sits back down.

“You said a bad word.”

Seungwan ignores her, knowing Seulgi has heard worse, and starts closing the wound. Seulgi frowns. That always made her laugh. After a few minutes of staring from Seulgi, Seungwan speaks up.

“You’re the one who decided not to pursue her, Seul.”

“Because I thought she had a boyfriend who turned out to not be a boyfriend.”

"And you might end up as a not-girlfriend too," Wendy reasons. "Are you okay with that?"

Seulgi shrugs. "Maybe it doesn't have to be serious."

Wendy holds Seulgi's face to inspect her work, her fingers now shaking when earlier they were steady. She's close enough that when Wendy exhales, Seulgi feels it on her cheek. “So you’ll ‘break up’ with me, if that was the case?"

“I’m just asking,” Seulgi says defensively. "And it's not like what we have is real."

"Huh." Wendy pulls back. "Never thought you were capable of being an asshole."

Seulgi would have laughed if not for the foreign coldness in her best friend's voice.

It's a few days of cold-shouldering before Seulgi realizes she must have really offended Seungwan. She didn't even get to thank her for her help. Apologizing would be easier if she knew exactly why she got upset.

The pre-med student pretends to be busy when she asks to talk and Seulgi had to sit next to her looking like a kicked puppy for hours until she gave in.

She apologizes first thing when her roommate agrees to talk, for what she did and for taking too long to realize she was upset. "And thank you for helping me."

Seungwan just looks at her for a while, arms crossed against her chest. “Doesn’t help that you’re dense by default.”

Seulgi laughs at herself then stops when she realizes the other girl is unamused.

"Look," Wendy says carefully. "There's several levels to this. It's about you, her, and me."

"Me?"

Her roommate uncrosses her arms. She has never looked this indignant towards Seulgi. "You're not built for casual dating, Seul. You give too much of yourself."

"Says you," Seulgi says before she can stop herself. She begs herself to shut up before she can make things worse. "I'm sorry."

"I'm used to things not going anywhere because 99.9% of the time I come in with zero expectations. On the other hand, you were cautious about dating someone who only dates for fun. What makes you think you're special and she'll suddenly get serious with you?"

"Ouch."

"I know we're young and we'll dive in head first into a relationship even if all the red flags are there," Seungwan pauses to give her a hard look, "but she's also smart. That's number two. You've painted this picture of being in an ideal relationship, then suddenly you'll jump ship because your crush is available? Even if she liked you that much, she'll still think you're an asshole."

"Oh. So that's what you meant."

"I–" Seungwan sighs. She asks if Seulgi is following and she says yes, she is. Seulgi is well aware of her own habit of pretending to understand or agree to get things over with.

"That's number three. She knows that when someone leaves a relationship to be with you, you bet they'll do that to you too."

"Wait. Hypothetically if she did break up with that boy to try her chances with me, wouldn't that make her a hypocrite?" Seulgi asks.

Seungwan shrugs. "She never thought it was serious with him in the first place, right? Again, back to point one, she probably wouldn't get serious with you either."

"Maybe that's why she keeps trying to test how 'serious' I am with you?"

"I guess." Seungwan lets out a deep breath. "Joy is a nice kid. I don't understand why she'd do that. She knows what it does to a person."

"Two years is a lot of time and people change," Seulgi suggests. Even as she says this, she finds it hard to believe Sooyoung is anything but a good person. "Has it happened to her?"

"She saw it happen to me."

Seulgi shifts in her seat. Her best friend has shared laughable parts of bad past relationships but not things like this. Seungwan looks away for the first time in a while.

"I had a crush on this senior in 11th grade," she starts. "I tried to stay away because she had a girlfriend but she was always there for me when I was going through a lot."

"You couldn't tell Sooyoung?"

"The Parks only recently moved to town then," Wendy explains. "We knew each other from our extracurriculars, not much else."

Seulgi nods and asks her to continue.

"The senior's girlfriend was away for college. After a particularly rough day, I was pouring my heart out to my crush and I let her kiss me. I kissed her back. Stupid, right?”

"You were young and vulnerable, Seungwan," Seulgi says. "It wasn't your fault."

Seungwan shakes her head. "Not a week later, she told me they broke up. Insisted it wasn't my fault. Suddenly it was my turn to be the shoulder to cry on. We started dating soon after and I swore it was love."

"And then she ended up doing the same to you?"

She nods. "She went off to college. We broke up, blamed it on the distance. Instagram posts told me otherwise. I guess that's why I got so hung up on Sooyoung. We got off on the wrong foot but once we cleared our misunderstandings, it was easy to open up to her."

Seulgi nods slowly. "No offense, but I'm sensing a pattern here."

"I know," Seungwan laughs. "Don't worry. I know better now than to fall for every girl who shows me empathy."

"3rd year of being clean?" she jokes, relieved Seungwan is smiling now.

"Unnie, the cut on your forehead is healing well," Seulgi's classmate says. The class erupted into chatter when their professor texted saying he would be late.

"It is," she replies. Seulgi finally noticed the kind of attention Sooyoung says she gets. She liked it better when she was unaware of it.

"Did it hurt?" This girl has been too obvious about her infatuation, as if the pride flag pin on her backpack wasn't loud enough.

Seulgi nods.

Sooyoung greets them when she arrives, taking the seat between the two. The older girl greets back awkwardly. Seulgi hates forming opinions about people without trying to understand their real intentions. But ever since that conversation with Seungwan, she's grown wary.

It's not like she can clear things up without making it awkward. The project is nearly done and ruining their friendship is the last thing she needs if she wants a good grade.

She decides to hit two birds with one stone when their classmate asks her to take better care of herself.

"Don't worry about it," Seulgi tells her admirer. "My girlfriend did a good job with the stitches and she always checks on it."

The girl's eyes widen at the revelation. "Oh. That's… good to hear."

Sooyoung looks at Seulgi from the corner of her eye. Their poor classmate just deflates in her seat.

"That was mean," Sooyoung teases when they meet for their project later. "Now I really need to meet your girlfriend. She sounds too perfect to be real."

Seulgi laughs. Is that what she thinks? "Maybe after finals when she's not busy."

"If you say so," the younger girl says with a lilt to her voice. "Got to thank her for patching up your pretty face."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Blood, needles
> 
> A little sweetness to buffer the sour

"I need a blood sample."

Seulgi opens her mouth to speak but she's not quite sure what she means to say. "Go to a blood bank?"

"No. Seulgi," Seungwan sighs. "I need to draw a blood sample from someone. And it wouldn't be nice to approach strangers if you can poke a needle into them so…"

The other girl blinks slowly once, twice, then points a finger to herself.

"Yes! My best friend in the world," the pre-med student grins. "A very healthy young adult."

After being bribed with grilled meat to replenish any lost iron, she ends up agreeing to it. Next thing she knows, there's a lab kit on their dining table and Seulgi's right arm is stretched across it. It's a really small table, now that she thinks of it.

Seungwan has that pleased look on her face as she twists and turns Seulgi's arm to look at her veins. "Your veins are so nice and visible," she says delightfully. Like she's admiring a cute puppy and not about to stick a needle that's just slightly thicker than Seulgi expected into one of them.

Seulgi just sits there, waiting. Maybe she should have brought her phone instead of leaving it to charge. Being admired is nice, being admired like a wonder of science is weird. Somehow this reminds her of the time Seungwan scolded her for almost cooking a piece of pork belly that turned out to be her homework. Can she blame her? She closed up the incision so neatly, Seulgi barely noticed it.

"It would be super easy to put an IV in," Seungwan comments, poking at the veins on the back of Seulgi's hand. "But we're not here for that," she says as she turns her roommate's palm upwards.

The pre-med student starts tracing a vein starting from Seulgi's wrist, all the way up her forearm while narrating the science of it. "For most people, you can only see up to the fold of their elbow. But yours go a bit past that, all the way up to your biceps."

"Uh, thanks?"

"It’s because you’re super fit. It shows even more after a workout," Seungwan adds, following the vein up to where she can no longer see it. Her thumbs press at Seulgi's biceps, maybe hoping the vein will show through the skin. Seulgi nearly expects her to say she's a fine specimen with the way she's essentially feeling up the muscle there.

Wendy is spared from a teasing comment when realization washes over her face. She already looks embarrassed and Seulgi would be cruel to add to it. She's blushing, they're both blushing, and have Seungwan's hands always been this warm?

Finally, Seungwan brings her equipment out: a tourniquet, a disposable syringe, some gauze and disinfectant, and a tube for storing the blood sample.

"Is it blue because it's your favorite color?" Seulgi asks, referring to the tourniquet. Wendy had to re-tie it when her first attempt was so tight, Seulgi couldn't even close her fist. She tries it again and her eyes widen at how the vein becomes much more visible.

"There aren't a lot of colors to choose from," she says, disinfecting the skin above the chosen vein.

Seulgi is amused. She knows most of Seungwan’s little expressions now and she’s tense in the way she is not when she’s nervous, but when she’s reeling from embarrassment. It’s adorable.

"But yeah. I love blue," Seungwan answers as she uncaps the syringe and lines it up against the vein at an angle. She looks up at Seulgi from under her eyelashes and gives her a small smile. "This is going to hurt a bit."

"Seungwan, you say this as if I'm not—"

Yeah. Tell that to the way she had to bite back a scream.

Seulgi sulks when she opens the refrigerator later and sees the sample chilling in there.

Doesn't mean she didn't say yes when Seungwan asked a few more times throughout the week, "for practice".

"Is that a bruise?" Sooyoung asks, alarm if not concern all over her face. "Unnie."

Seulgi holds out her arm and just goes "oh". She pulls up a photo of the blood sample on her phone with "Kang Seulgi / F / 22" written on it.

"My girlfriend needed a blood sample for class," she explains. "She had a graded demonstration coming up too so she needed to practice. As you can see, she needed that practice. She gave me one hell of an apology. It was impossible not to forgive her."

Seulgi chuckles to herself. If Sooyoung wants to do vague, she can do vague. All Seungwan did was promise to buy or make her meals all week. Seulgi always struggles to admit when money is tight and she just had to take the opportunity. She'll make up for it someday.

Joy glares at her. "You just let her? You're so sick."

"Lovesick, maybe," she giggles. "She bribed me at first but I think I ended up liking it."

The younger girl pokes at the bruise. "What a perv."

The project is over before Seulgi knows it. All that’s left is the presentation and Seungwan makes time in her busy study schedule to listen and give feedback when Seulgi runs it by her. 

“I heard we have to do presentations in English in junior year,” Seulgi complains. She did have good pronunciation from her English classes in high school but grammar is still an issue.

Seungwan smooths out her hair as she helps Seulgi get dressed for the presentation. The cut on her forehead is barely visible now. Any tension in their friendship from that day is also completely gone. Seulgi never wants to upset Seungwan ever again.

“Well, you have me and your new friend Joy to help you.” She notices how the other girl pauses to gauge her reaction, which was none at all. “We can do short lessons weekly so you’ll be ready when it happens in two years.”

“You think we’ll still be friends in two years? You and I?” Seulgi asks timidly. Sure, she still talks to some people from high school, but she never really felt this connected to anyone. For the first time in a while, she has something she’s afraid of losing.

“Of course,” she frowns, slipping a tie under the collar of Seulgi’s dress shirt. “And don’t you have Business English next semester?”

“Yeah. We chose our classes for the next semester together, remember?”

Seungwan adjusts Seulgi’s collar and uses it to pull her close. Her eyes are trained on the very small distance between them, falling on Seungwan’s hands as she expertly ties a knot.

Seulgi remembers the story of how Wendy learned how to tie a tie. They were talking about their Avril Lavigne phase in middle school, laughing at old photos of Wendy’s attempt at looking like a punk rock princess.

When she’s done, the shorter girl tugs at it again to adjust the knot and Seulgi stumbles forward. 

“Too tight?” Seungwan asks as if their noses aren’t basically touching. If Seulgi looked down, their foreheads would meet. If Seungwan looked up… “Seulgi, you’re not breathing.”

She could hear herself swallow. “Yeah, a little tight.”

Wendy gives her a small smile and adjusts the knot quietly. The taller girl nearly gasps for air when they step away from each other.

“My fake girlfriend looks so dapper,” Seungwan pretends to swoon as she helps her put on a blazer. She takes another step back to inspect her work and pats Seulgi’s warm cheeks. “Go get 'em, tiger.”

Sooyoung has to snap Seulgi out of her dazed state when it’s almost their turn to present. Just two more pairs to go.

“Nervous?” she asks her partner, pulling back right after touching Seulgi’s clammy hands.

She nods. “I know we practiced a lot and I asked Wan for feedback too but–”

“Wan?”

Seulgi realizes Joy is yet to put two and two together. “My roommate,” she explains, looking cautiously at the other students around them. She truly is just her roommate but if Seungwan was actually her girlfriend, she knows it isn’t safe to out herself to just anyone.

Sooyoung runs a hand through her hair. “Right. It’s funny because–"

“Can we step outside, for a second? I need some fresh air.”

The younger girl follows her to the hall and she leans against a wall.

“Are your nerves that bad?”

Seulgi nods, though it wasn't about the presentation. “I haven’t been a student in two years. At least in the military there are fixed answers.”

Sooyoung leans against the space next to her. “We shouldn’t take too long out here, though.”

“I know,” she replies, staring at her sweaty hands. “Anyway, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.”

The younger girl bites her lip and turns towards her. “Can’t wait until the presentation is over huh?”

Seulgi shakes her head. “I’m going to make this quick, don’t worry.” She squeezes her eyes shut and braces herself for the reaction.

“Your Wendy is my Seungwan.”

Sooyoung nearly slips down the wall. Her eyes betray that it wasn’t what she expected to hear. “For real?”

“Yeah,” the older girl laughs humorlessly. She's suspicious about what Sooyoung was expecting, but she's also been thinking for hours about the other reason she's grown much less interested in her.

“She was surprised to learn we know each other,” Seulgi continues. “We were wondering if we should tell you. Didn’t want to make things awkward since you two have loose strings to tie up.”

Sooyoung brings a hand up to her mouth. “I should really apologize to her though! This whole time, she’s also a student here?”

"Yup."

Sooyoung looks at her in disbelief. "The stitches and the blood samples… she's pursuing medicine as planned?"

The older girl smiles, amused she seems to be taking this well. "That's right."

"So you two are dating."

"Yeah."

Joy shakes her head, laughing at herself.

“What’s funny?” Seulgi asks, looking around to see if she missed something.

“You really are oblivious, aren’t you?” Sooyoung absentmindedly fixes her hair as she tries to stop smiling.

Seulgi squints. “I’m not following.”

“Unnie,” she sighs. “I realized I didn’t care that much about my ex, if I can even call him that, because I like you."

“You like me,” Seulgi repeats, as if asking for clarification. She was right, but it doesn’t feel the way she thought it would. Her next words come out quietly. “I have a girlfriend, Sooyoung.”

Joy clears her throat twice. "I know. And you love her, I get it. If I only knew who I was up against I really should have— I shouldn't ruin that. _You_ shouldn't ruin that."

She almost asks Sooyoung why she thinks she would do that but she holds back. They don’t have the time if this erupts into an argument.

“Thank you. And I’m sorry,” she says instead.

“Don’t apologize. I guess I realized my feelings too late,” Joy says, more to herself than Seulgi. “I should have known I was doing a little too much to get close to you.”

“I’m sure there’s someone out there for you,” Seulgi tries.

She’s startled when Sooyoung laughs. “Of course. Everyone wants me. Well, almost. I got to admit, my ego is a little bruised but what’s a flimsy crush to a love like yours?” She punches Seulgi’s shoulder lightly. “Don’t worry about me.”

The older girl finds it in her to smile. “I hope this isn’t too awkward for you.”

“The girl I like is in a loving, committed relationship with the girl whose feelings I kind of messed with in high school,” Joy thinks out loud. “I guess I deserved that.”

The two are called inside for their turn at presenting before Seulgi can say anything. As they walk inside, her mind drifts back to the tension she felt with Seungwan at the apartment.

“I’ll be fine,” Sooyoung reassures her as they set up for the presentation. “You two are really good people and I bet you two look cute together.”

They do look cute together. Seulgi smiles. “You bet.”

“Can you promise me something though?”

Seulgi turns to face the panelists. One of them is struggling with a technical issue. “What is it?”

“She was still my best friend at one point. Just… take care of her."

She tries to bite down a smile, nodding. “So will we still be friends or..?” 

Sooyoung laughs goodnaturedly. "I can’t believe you just hit me with ‘we can still be friends’."


	6. Chapter 6

The presentation goes smoothly. Sooyoung is already acting like her usual self when it’s over and it’s a huge weight off of Seulgi’s shoulders. She’s over Sooyoung. It’s clearer now. There are questions lingering still. They hug when they receive their grade for the presentation, which should lead to an impressive final grade if the marks for their written output matches up.

Before they left campus, they agreed to keep the confession a secret.

The younger girl confessed that for a while, she half-expected Seulgi to be lying about having a girlfriend. As her expectation became more unlikely, she kept trying to see if she could make Seulgi break.

“People our age don’t really date seriously, you know?” Joy tells her. “It’s more of a social activity for a lot of us. The chase, the dates, the hook-ups, doing things you really shouldn’t.”

“Like flirting with someone when you know they’re taken,” Seulgi says without realizing. She’s still all up in her head, only now processing everything. She winces at her own words.

“Not like you knew I was flirting.”

“I did,” she counters. “Maybe I didn’t catch on right away but...”

Sooyoung laughs. “Whatever. I get it. You’re loyal and happy. Stop rubbing it in.”

  
“I’m sorry,” Seulgi frowns. She leans her head back against the wall. As much as she cares about Sooyoung as a friend, it’s impossible to protect everyone’s happiness.

“Wendy unnie is always serious though,” the younger girl continues. “Or at least that’s how I knew her. When she loves, she loves hard.”

How do you go from someone who loves their whole heart to someone who dates without expectations 99.9% of the time? Seulgi imagines only so much pain can do that to a person.

“I don’t know how to face her if I ever have to admit I tried to steal her girlfriend after messing with her feelings before,” the younger girl adds.

“You don’t have to,” Seulgi tells her. She doesn’t know how Wendy would feel about Joy doing something like this either. “We can just put this behind us, if you want.”

Sooyoung looks at her in disbelief. “You’re too kind. Leave some good traits for the rest of us.”

Much to Seulgi’s distress, Sooyoung insisted on inviting Seungwan to their celebratory dinner. She said it’s a lame way to apologize, but she’ll come up with something better ‘next time’.

“I feel a little underdressed,” the ‘girlfriend’ comments when they arrive at an upscale Italian restaurant.. Seulgi keeps a hand on the small of Wendy's back and takes a proper look at the outfit: a hip-hugging mid-thigh black skirt and a slim-fit low-cut top.

"You look fine," Seulgi reassures her. More than fine. She always knew her best friend was attractive but it’s only today she realized she’s attracted to her, and that it’s not just that.

The place really is overwhelming. Seungwan's family might seem rich but there are rumors Park Sooyoung is an heiress to a fortune. Seulgi tries not to show her discomfort about the topic when their classmates bring it up, just like how she tries to look chill in this restaurant with ₩20,000 salads on the menu.

The freshmen were still in their outfits for the presentation and Seungwan whispers to Seulgi about how she’s over Joy, but she does look insanely good in that dress. Seulgi wills herself to smile and nod.

Sooyoung hugs Seungwan as a greeting as if the past two years didn’t pass without them talking.

As if Seungwan isn’t ‘dating’ the girl Sooyoung likes and she tried to steal her away.

Seulgi hopes this will just become something they can laugh about in a few years.

“You’re still so cute and tiny, unnie,” Sooyoung fawns when she finally lets go of Seungwan. “And your hair! Short hair looks so good on you.”

Wendy ruffles her hair and laughs. “It’s been like this for two years. Might as well keep it forever.”

“I’m sure your girlfriend wouldn’t get tired of looking at you,” she sighs with hearts in her eyes. As if on cue, Seulgi scoots her chair closer to Seungwan’s and holds her hand. The shorter girl looks at her so affectionately it almost makes her dizzy.

“So, with Seulgi unnie as our witness,” Sooyoung continues, looking at a slightly distressed Seungwan. Seulgi tries to calm her by rubbing a thumb across her knuckles. “I’m really sorry for leading you on in high school. Talking to Seulgi unnie made me realize it’s not cool to string people along without making your motives clear. It’s a waste of their time and yours.”

Seungwan smiles at Seulgi, then at Sooyoung. “Water under the bridge, Joy. Plus, I have Seulgi now.” Seulgi looks at the girl beside her and she finds herself hoping the loving expression on her face is real.

“She never told me how you two got together,” Joy pouts.

Seulgi worries she’s still onto them, trying to catch them in a lie. She calls for a waiter to distract herself and Seungwan remains so steady and charming. When she talks, Seulgi feels like her memories are being replaced with the ones her fake girlfriend is sharing.

“I fell hard and fast,” Wendy tells her. “She took a while to catch up. I was just looking for a replacement tenant for my apartment but here we are. It was unexpected, honestly. You know me. She isn’t really the type of girl I’d go for.”

Sooyoung smiles, “She’s a bit oblivious, isn’t she?”

“She is,” the pre-med student laughs. “But at the same time, how could you not fall for her? Seulgi is just so good to the people around her. Wasn’t long until I started wishing she cared for me as more than just a roommate.”

“She’s a lot prettier than she believes too,” Joy agrees, winking at Seulgi. “You have to be careful, unnie. She’s  _ quite  _ popular.”

Seungwan squeezes Seulgi’s hand. “Is that so? Sorry to them but I’m never letting her go.”

Seulgi bares her teeth awkwardly, rubs nervously at her roommate’s thigh under the table and Seungwan reaches down to hold it in place. Seulgi pulls back when the hand gets sweaty, thoughts overrun by its softness and warmth of the skin underneath.

She snaps out of it when the shorter girl elbows her, a cue to say something, and Seulgi thinks she won’t be sleeping tonight.

  
  
  


There are a few more exams left on Seungwan’s schedule while Seulgi is free and ready for summer.

She’s sent out a few resumes for short-term jobs in the fashion industry to earn money and experience during the break.

There are stylists, designers, photographers, and more looking for assistants. There are a few hair and makeup artists too but that’s another set of skills Seulgi is yet to learn.

“If I wasn’t busy, I would teach you,” Wendy told her.

Her skills come from a whole range of experiences. There’s doing her makeup for show choir and theater, and her middle school life at an all-girls boarding school. Needless to say, it’s also how she learned she likes girls.

Seungwan decides to take a study break for her sanity at the expense of Seulgi’s own.

Surely there’s a better way to put makeup on someone than bracing their hips to the bed with your knees. Seulgi keeps her hands folded over her stomach, tries to keep her breath steady when Seungwan hovers over her and starts explaining what she’s applying to Seulgi’s face, how, and why.

Nothing is registering except how beautiful Seungwan looks with her hair up. Maybe her fake story about how they got together has some truth to it. Is it true Seungwan fell fast and hard? Because Seulgi is finally, finally catching up.

She used to think falling in love was one big moment, but she’s starting to believe it’s the little things adding up.

Seulgi started to hold her hand more, hug her more, and no longer hesitated when Seungwan curled up to cuddle.

Seulgi is a fan of relaxing music, loves Seungwan's mellow singing and her low quiet voice during their late night conversations, but even her more chaotic laughter and loud rock sing-alongs have joined her list of favorite sounds in the world.

When Wendy would tell her “I love you” so casually while thanking her for favors, her heart threatens to leave her chest.

Her roommate shows her the final output through a compact mirror. "Obviously we should have done the basics first but this is more for my enjoyment than your education. What do you think?"

"Pretty," Seulgi replies, looking past the mirror and into her eyes.

Seungwan blushes and Seulgi is more than happy to be caught. "Do you want to take pictures or do you need help taking it off?" she asks, voice quieter. The air in the room changes and she still doesn't remove herself from Seulgi.

"I'll take it off, it's rather late," she replies, a hand coming up to caress Wendy's arm. "But I'll still stay up with you if you'd like."

"Yeah," Wendy smiles. "I'd like that."

  
  
  


Something palpable changes after that. Out of respect for Seungwan’s dedication to her academics, Seulgi decides to wait.

There isn’t much of a conversation about how Sooyoung seemed to take everything so well. Seungwan never has to know. The avid romcom fan should have known their arrangement would turn out like this.

Is Seulgi upset she jumped to conclusions about Joy? Partly. She wonders how things would be now if she just waited a little. Maybe she would have been happy. Maybe she would have been just constantly waiting for the crash. She doesn’t have to worry about that with Seungwan.

And at least she’s made a new friend without embarrassing herself, at the other girl's expense.

Seulgi accepts an invitation from Sooyoung for some ice cream and she shows her where she buys vintage clothes in Hongdae.

She expected awkwardness. It was their first time actually talking since the day of the presentation. They exchanged no more than friendly smiles and greetings on exam days and Seulgi couldn’t tell if they were just busy or Sooyoung needed some time to recover.

Remembering what Joy said about her bruised ego, she decided not to ask.

Sooyoung simply acted like nothing happened.

"Where are you going after?" the younger girl asks, inspecting a knit vest that caught her eye.

"Seungwan's taking her last exam right now so we thought of celebrating," she replies.

Joy holds two items in front of her in the mirror. "Eating out?"

"I like the blue one," Seulgi tells her. "And no, I'm getting takeout from our favorite Hong Kong restaurant. Might finally let her choose a movie to watch then give her a massage."

"A  _ massage _ huh?"

"Sooyoung."

"What?" she laughs. Sooyoung adds the blue one to her shopping cart and moves along. "You're a really good girlfriend. If my next relationship isn't going to be as good as yours, I don't want it."

Seulgi smiles. She’s confident that soon, they wouldn't be lying to her anymore. "What do you think about this one for Seungwan?"

"Oh. She used to have one like that."

It was a rare find and it would be a shame to let someone else have it. She shakes her head. "So I shouldn't get it?"

"No!" Sooyoung counters. "This one looks nicer anyway. I think it would fit her better too. She'd love it."

"You think so?"

The other girl nods. "She loves you. I'm sure she'd love anything you get her but that's a really good choice."

Seulgi looks at the item and smiles. "I love her too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (as if I didn't write this) SHE LOVES HER..... Please look forward to Wendy's OST "Two Letters" (or "Two Characters"? Korean is hard) out on November 15, 6pm KST!


	7. Chapter 7

Seungwan sounded excited when Seulgi called about their plans for tonight. Seulgi arrived at the apartment early but she didn’t want to overwhelm the other girl with grand gestures. She puts pillows on the floor and prepares the way they usually do for movie nights.

The only difference is a gift which costs more to wrap than to buy hidden not so discreetly under the living room table.

Seulgi greets her with arms wide open when she comes through the door.

“Congratulations on finally being done with the semester!”

The exhausted pre-med student just melts into Seulgi’s arms and murmurs she couldn't have done it without her.

"I didn't do anything," she says dismissively, leading Wendy to the living room where their food is.

"You stayed up with me and did a lot of favors for me," Wendy says, squealing when she sees the food.

"Including being your own test subject and barbie doll?" Seulgi asks. Her hands try not to shake when she gives her the gift. "And for your hard work."

Seungwan holds it to her chest and gives her another hug. "The prettiest, kindest test subject and barbie doll," she says, pressing a finger against Seulgi's nose. "What's this? This is… fancy. You didn't have to get me anything, Seul."

Seulgi gives her a little pout even if deep inside, she’s thinking about all the ways this could go badly. She reminds herself this is just who Seungwan is, always underestimating what she deserves.

She opens the gift at Seulgi's urging, ever so careful with the beautiful, expensive wrapping, and her jaw drops. It's a leather jacket from a high-end foreign brand with a white fur trim along the lapels. The jacket is secondhand so it's cheaper, but still in great condition.

"I used to have one like this but it got ruined," Seungwan says. "This is even better, actually. That was a bit oversized— Oh. It fits perfectly." She throws her arms around Seulgi's neck, blushing when they realize how close they are, and thanks her. Seulgi lets go of a breath she didn’t know she was holding.

"As you can see, I've showered and am dressed comfortably," Seulgi says as she lowers Seungwan’s arms from her neck, their hands lingering before they part.

The short-haired girl tells her she won't take long and she stays true to her word. They start eating, Wendy rants about how terrible finals week has been, and thanks Seulgi for making it all bearable. Seulgi's first finals week in university was not as bad as she expected. She was more worried about how things would turn out with Seungwan.

Wendy picks a light-hearted musical she knows all the words to and Seulgi watches her with immeasurable awe. She reminds herself to watch the movie and not the girl beside her. Seungwan has whined about Seulgi "never enjoying" the films she chooses before.

Towards the end of the movie, Seungwan is sitting between Seulgi's legs on the floor, back turned to her for a neck and shoulder massage.

There's a few sounds that come out of her that make Seulgi blush more than the sex scenes onscreen earlier.

Seungwan leans back on Seulgi's shoulder when the massage is done, face tilted towards her. "Thank you. You're the best."

Seulgi doesn't know where to look when her eyes are intense but the other options weren't safe either. The other girl is in a worn out shirt from high school and shorts because of the warmer weather.

"You deserve the best," Seulgi says, carefully wrapping her arms around Seungwan's waist. She's soft and so small in her arms but every bit perfect. There’s no doubt the other girl can feel and hear how hard her heart is beating right now.

"Hey," Seulgi starts shakily. Seungwan shifts so her side is pressed against Seulgi's front and they can look at each other better. There’s anticipation and questioning in her eyes, her subtle smile almost teasing.

"Hey," Seungwan says back, drawing patterns on the forearms around her waist with her fingertips.

“So… fun’s over.”

“We kind of flopped, didn’t we?” the short-haired girl asks. “Sooyoung took it too well.”

Not quite. “And I don’t even like her anymore,” Seulgi adds.

“You’re over her?”

“Yeah,” she says quietly. Wendy moves to still Seulgi’s hand, one that was unconsciously grabbing at the fabric of the smaller girl’s shirt. She finds the strength to say her next sentence when their fingers intertwine. “But I do have feelings for a certain someone.”

Wendy only smirks, looking at their hands as she plays with Seulgi’s fingers. “Yeah?”

“Mhmm. We had an arrangement and things became way too real for me,” she confesses. “I was hoping it was the same for her.”

The smaller girl squeezes her hand and looks up at her, face glowing. “Funny. I’m in a similar situation.”

Seulgi’s mouth falls open. "Seungwan," she exhales. "Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Wendy giggles, nodding. She pinches her cheek lightly. "You finally caught up."

"Not finally. I've known for a while," Seulgi admits, watching Seungwan nervously as the girl moves to straddle Seulgi's thighs. "Did you really fall fast and hard?"

Seulgi scoots backwards so her back is against the base of the couch, sitting more comfortably. The other girl tugs her gently by the collar of her shirt, raising a brow at her when her arms circle Seungwan's waist. She rests her palms on top of Seulgi's shoulders.

"Yeah, I did," she laughs quietly, shifting herself closer to the other girl's torso. "You're impossible not to like."

"Like?" Seulgi frowns, nape heating up from the position they're in. "Seungwan, I'm in love with you."

"I'm in love with you too, Seulgi," she replies, noses brushing together.

Wendy's hands come up to cradle Seulgi's face, a thumb pressing lightly down on her neck to get a gasp out of her. As her mouth parts, the smaller girl carefully presses their lips together, feathery light on Seulgi's bottom lip at first, before Seulgi starts kissing back just as gently.

It's a wonderful, slow first kiss and Seulgi is a fast learner. Wendy pulls back only to tilt her head for a deeper kiss, unable to stop the sound that escapes her throat when their tongues touch. Slow and intense and dizzying but Seulgi can't stop going in for more.

The TV in front of them has gotten dark from the inactivity and there's only the moonlight filtering through the window.

Seulgi struggles to find the words for what just happened. Her hands are still where they ended up while kissing, one on Seungwan’s shoulder and the other behind her neck. Is ‘happy’ the right word? To have something finally work out for her, to feel like every moment in her life has led up to this point. Yes, yes, there’s more to life than just a girl but Seungwan is more than  _ just a girl _ .

"Don't lie. That was your first kiss?" Seungwan asks breathlessly. She giggles at how Seulgi tried to follow when she pulled away.

"No, it's a lie I tell hot girls to get them into bed with me," Seulgi jokes, brushing stray hairs out of Seungwan's face.

"Not funny, Seul." She tries to look upset but she breaks into a foolish grin not long after. "You think I'm hot?"

Seulgi nods, studying Wendy's features as she grazes a thumb across her cheek. She can’t stop thinking  _ she’s beautiful _ . "And I love you."

"I love you too," she sighs, pressing a kiss on the tip of Seulgi's nose. "For a first time kisser, you got me pretty ruined down there."

"Oh?" The other girl blushes, then boldly cants her hips upwards as she pulls Seungwan's down to meet the thrust. "Whose idea was this?" Seulgi chuckles, a little too confident when the action makes Seungwan whimper.

"Oh god. This is going to be terrible," she whines. "You're going to be horny as hell."

Seulgi buries her head in Seungwan's shoulder and laughs. "Unfortunate. Whatever shall we do?"

"So you're a virgin."

"Not for long, I hope," she responds.

Seungwan pinches her side lightly. "Have you at least touched yourself?"

Seulgi hums in response, mumbles "stop asking questions" against her lips as she pulls her in for another kiss. She’s grateful for the pillow against her lower back as things escalated.

It's not practical to chase an orgasm like this, and Seulgi knows that if either of them does cum it will be Seungwan, but she diligently accommodates the hips rolling languidly against hers, tries to provide more friction as the movements grow faster and more erratic.

She's obsessed with every needy whine and moan, one hand exploring the skin under the flimsy shirt while her other arm grips the other girl's waist as they grind against each other. Her mouth is curious about going elsewhere, to nip and mark at pale skin, but she's too engrossed in the slow, deliberate kiss that's getting a lot sloppier.

Seungwan reaches her high with a shaky gasp into her mouth and Seulgi keeps moving their hips together until she stills. She thinks she's beautiful, happy to have made her like this, flushed with a thin layer of sweat from not much.

"My shorts are definitely ruined now," the shorter girl sighs. "But I didn't expect that could feel so good so you're forgiven."

"We have no choice but to take them off," Seulgi suggests, nipping and sucking at the skin along Seungwan’s collarbones experimentally. So sensitive. Seulgi is already addicted. She palms at her waist from under the shirt, letting out a pleased hum when she finds the underside of her breasts. "Bed?"

Wendy nods, pulling back to meet Seulgi's eyes. "Can't wait to see what your hips can do with a strap-on."

"Oh," Seulgi grins, following when Seungwan pulls her off the floor. "Well. That's something to explore."

"Right. But for now," she giggles, pulling Seulgi close to leave a trail of kittenish licks up her neck. The taller girl is embarrassed by how quickly her legs turned into jelly, how she slumps forward against the other girl’s shoulder. The way Wendy's voice drops for her next sentence makes Seulgi swoon. "Let me take care of you. Then you can show me what you can do with those fingers and mouth."

Seulgi lets Seungwan push her back against the bed when they finally make it to the bedroom. Could have gotten there quicker if they could stop kissing on the way. "We're girlfriends, right?"

"Of course, silly," she replies, pulling her own shirt off. Seulgi must have looked at her so hungrily. She settles between Seulgi's parted legs and brings the taller girl's slim, long fingers up her torso to touch her breasts.

It's too much for the inexperienced of the two. Everything about the smaller girl is pleasant and delightful. Seungwan presses a thigh against the warmth between Seulgi's legs just to watch her squirm a little more, making Seulgi buck her hips in search of relief. She barely hears her now-girlfriend's next words.

"But we need to decide on our anniversary," she says. Seungwan lets go of Seulgi's hands to tug at the hem of her shirt and ask if she can remove it. As if Seulgi is not already overwhelmed with pleasure, she's elated that Seungwan thinks they would last.

"Let's figure that out tomorrow," Seulgi suggests as she helps Seungwan take the shirt off, eyes drinking in the beautiful sight before her.

  
  
  


They agree to make their anniversary the day they ended up saying "I love you" over the phone.

Seungwan already meant it at the time. She fell for Seulgi before she even knew about her crush and it hurt, but she got to where she is today by not letting her feelings get the best of her.

Seulgi vowed to make up for it by being the best girlfriend she can be and Seungwan told her that she already is even when they were still faking it.

It took Seulgi some time to build the courage to ask Seungwan if her feelings were a factor during their one-sided cold war. She decided to bring it up casually while they scrolled mindlessly on their phones in bed. Seulgi places hers face down on the nightstand.

“I was honest about my reasons then,” her girlfriend answered. “Though I did omit one.”

“You were jealous, on top of me seriously considering a terrible thing.”

Wendy nods, blushing. If this wasn’t a serious conversation, Seulgi would already be teasing her, brushing her nose against her cheek. She keeps her arms wrapped around her instead. “I don’t… yeah. I hate to admit it but I’m a jealous girl.”

Seulgi frowns. “It must have really hurt. I’m sorry, babe.”

“You didn’t know,” Seungwan tells her. She cups her cheek and kisses her. “I tried to get over you but I just couldn’t. What did you do to me?”

Seulgi laughs softy. “After that, I realized I didn’t want to lose you,” she admits. “I just didn’t know right away that those feelings were romantic.”

  
Her girlfriend gives her another kiss. “Without knowing, you started giving me a lot more reasons to love you.”

  
  
  


They only laugh when they realize they have some explaining to do if Sooyoung ever realizes the dates don’t add up.

Seungwan tries to remember if the girl was ever good at math.

  
  
  


Seulgi gets a short-term job assisting a visual director and she's excited to stay in Seoul with Seungwan for the summer. Suwon is just a bus ride away if her parents insisted but her girlfriend doesn't have that liberty. Her parents preferred to visit during winter since it's more bearable in Seoul than Toronto.

It's not exactly fair. Korean summers are insufferable. In addition to the heat during the day and the creepy crawlies at night, there's also the unpredictable monsoons.

Seulgi is extra sweaty in hot weather and their electricity bills are higher from their AC use but Wendy can't resist how her girlfriend looks with a tan.

"What are you going to do while I'm at work?"

Seungwan looks up from the budget notebook they've started to keep for their expenses. They both have income now that the pre-med student started accepting voice-over gigs in her free time.

"Summer classes," she answers, smiling. "If everything goes well, we're both graduating in the same year."

"You got in?" Seulgi asks, moving quickly to her side to embrace her. "You got in!"

Seungwan nods enthusiastically, laughing as Seulgi squeezes her tight. "Yeah, I did!"

After finishing two years of undergraduate studies with stellar grades, Seungwan was qualified to apply for transfer to the 6-year medical college program. She didn't. Nerves got to her, saying she wasn't accepted when she first applied for a reason and had better chances if she finished her bachelor's degree first.

"Just try," Seulgi told her, presenting printed outlines of Wendy's current program and the one she hesitated to apply for. "I checked with the registrar and they can credit all the courses you've finished so far."

So she did. "Just don't get your hopes up." When Wendy received the call for her interview schedule, she decided not to tell Seulgi in case it didn't work out.

"So you're officially a med student now?" Seulgi asks, showering her girlfriend's face with kisses.

"Yup," she confirmed. Wendy held her face to stop the onslaught of cheek kisses in exchange for one that left both of them breathless. "Thank you, Seul. I love you."

"I love you too. But this was all you," she replies. Seulgi lightly presses a thumb across Seungwan's lips, swollen from the kiss, and leans in for another.

When they finally pulled away — "before you can lead me to temptation, Seul" — the med student explained the two summer courses were pre-requisites for the fall semester’s prescribed courses. "And apparently I already finished two that I need to take next year.”

"So you're kind of ahead?" Seulgi asks, looking like a lovestruck teenager. So in love with this amazing woman who is now hers.

Seungwan nods. "Would be nice to have that free time by then. The calm before the storm that is clinical rotations." She explains the licensure exam is after graduation, then a one-year internship, and three to four years as a resident before another exam to become a board-certified surgeon.

"We'll be 30 by then," the other girl says after doing the math.

"And I'm sure you'll be doing amazing things by that time too," her girlfriend tells her. The way she looks at Seulgi makes her want to believe they can do it all together.

Seulgi takes one of Wendy's wrists and places a kiss on her palm. "I'm so happy I found you."

"I'm happy we found each other. Why did you wait before confessing?”

“Finals,” she answers simply. “You are clearly committed to your academics as I am to mine and I didn’t want to be a distraction.”

The short-haired girl pinches her cheek. “I spent most of the semester thinking about my growing feelings for you and you thought fulfilling my one wish would throw me off?”

Seulgi’s face scrunches up, just a bit embarrassed. “This was the first time I confessed to someone I can’t easily run away from.”

“Would have been awkward spending the rest of the lease together, huh?” Wendy jokes.

“I may have been wary you were playing your part a little too well. Yet I still worried I was misreading things,” Seulgi says. “Sooyoung did mention you have acting experience.”

Seungwan smiles, amused. “Was it a little self-indulgent of me?”

“It might have been, a little,” she answers, placing a kiss on her girlfriend’s neck. “Not to say I didn’t enjoy it. I’m just happy it’s all real now.”

“All of it was real for me,” Wendy says, eyes following the mischievous hand inching up her thigh. “Seul.”

“Wan? You’re red,” she teases.

“No shit,” the other girl laughs. “Let me finish this first. God. I knew you would be terrible.”

Seulgi kisses the corner of her girlfriend's mouth. “You love it. You love me.”

“And you love me,” Wendy says back, “So be a good girl.”

Seulgi giggles in response and, nodding, punctuates her promise with a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHHHH this is my first time publishing smut in a while I'm sorry and also thank you for reading this far! All that's left is the epilogue. ^^


	8. Epilogue

“Seul?” Wendy calls out gently.

Seulgi thinks of reaching for her phone to check the time, but she notes a sense of urgency. “Hm?”

“I’m sorry.”

She feels the bed shift and when she turns to look, Seungwan’s back is turned towards her. She scoots closer and wraps an arm around the smaller girl’s waist. “Why are you apologizing?”

“I broke a promise.”

It’s too early for this, Seulgi thinks, whatever time it is now. She just woke up and while she wants to be completely present for this conversation, she could use more sleep.

“I don’t understand, Seungwan.”

She feels Seungwan heave a sigh. “Two years ago, you asked me if I think we’ll still be friends by now. And I said yes, but-”

Seulgi lets out a deep breath of her own. “But instead you’re my girlfriend of two years.” She bites into her girlfriend’s shoulder, the smaller girl laughing heartily now as she turns towards her. “You’re ridiculous. You had me worried for a second.”

“Good morning?” Wendy grins. She kisses Seulgi, tugging her girlfriend’s bottom lip with her teeth as she pulls away.

“What time is it?”

“Too early for you on a Saturday,” she answers, craning her neck to spot their bedside clock. “It’s not 4pm yet.”

Seulgi drops a kiss on her neck, humming against it when Seungwan squirms. “Ha. Very funny.”

“It’s only half past 9,” Seungwan tells her. “We have an invitation for social activities today.”

“Why are you speaking so formally,” Seulgi mumbles. “Brunch with Sooyoung and Yerim, right?”

“Do you really need to bring that freshman along? How are you even friends, she’s a literature major.”

The fashion major pulls back to squint at Seungwan. “What’s wrong with Yerim? I mean, yes. She’s annoying and she can’t seem to stop asking us about our sex life but–”

“She scares me,” Wendy admits, laughing at herself.

Seulgi presses a finger against her nose. “You’ll get along. I promise. And you're doing your medical clerkship now. A whole five years older than her.”

“Speaking of,” Wendy loosens herself from Seulgi’s grip to stretch. “I can’t stay for long if you’re planning to go somewhere else after. The College of Medicine student council president requires my presence.”

“On a Saturday? Seriously, Bae Joohyun needs to stop cutting into our precious couple time.”

The smaller girl sits up from her side of the bed. “First of all, Joohyun unnie is not the evil senior you make her out to be. Second, do you have anything planned for us today?”

Seulgi shakes her head. She forces herself up with a grunt. “Doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy just lying in bed with you.”

“Just lying down? You know you can’t do just lying down,” her girlfriend teases. “I got my first 48-hour break in weeks and you kept me up last night."

“Well,” she giggles. “My girlfriend is super hot.”

Wendy rolls her eyes and grabs her towel. “I’m glad to hear my pilates sessions are paying off. They’re expensive.”

“What time do you need to meet Ms. Bae?”

“Joohyun unnie,” she emphasizes, “needs us in the meeting room at 3PM. Something about preparing support for alumni taking the medical licensure exam.”

Seulgi rubs her eyes. “Okay. So, brunch with the little demons at 10:30 and you with the devil herself at 3PM.”

“You wouldn’t say that if you would just try and get to know her,” Seungwan sighs. “There’s a Gong Cha near the College, be there at 5.”

“Yeah, I’ll pick you up,” Seulgi confirms, joining her in the bathroom to brush her teeth.

“No, Seulgi. I’m introducing you to Joohyun unnie.”

  
  
  


Sooyoung leans against a pole dramatically when Seungwan says she has to leave for a meeting. “Unnie, do you really have to go?”

“Bae Joohyun would have her ass if she doesn’t, Sooyoung,” Seulgi explains, gesturing vaguely at the bus stop where they’re waiting to send her off.

“That’s not right,” Yerim frowns. “You’re her girlfriend. You’re the only one who should have her ass.”

The eldest among them stares at the youngest in disbelief. “That’s very sweet of you, Yerim. But that’s not what it means.”

Joy uses the pole to pull herself straight up. “Bae Joohyun? Irene Bae? God herself?”

Wendy nods. “Yes, god herself Bae Joohyun. She’s the president of–”

“–the College of Medicine Student Council,” Sooyoung fills in. “I know. I’m kind of obsessed with her at the moment.”

“Seriously, when was the last time you had a crush on a man?” Yerim asks, squinting. “You get really weird and intense when you crush on girls.”

“She does,” Seulgi lets slip. They still haven’t talked about Sooyoung’s old crush on her. She smiles apologetically.

The tallest of the friend group just glares. “Not with everyone,” she counters. She fishes her phone out to show the other girls Joohyun’s latest Instagram update, very fresh from three weeks ago. “Have you seen her? I am reasonably obsessed.”

“I know what she looks like,” Yerim says. “That’s why you befriended me, right? You found out we’re neighbors and you wanted a way to get to her.”

Sooyoung gives Seulgi her phone and walks over to Yerim to fake choke her. “Maybe, but you’re fun so that’s a bonus.”

“Now that’s unfair,” Seulgi comments, looking at the photo on the screen. “I thought she would look horrible. She’s exactly Seungwan’s type.”

“What’s Seungwan unnie’s type?” the youngest asks, trying to free herself from Sooyoung.

“Unattainably perfect,” Seulgi and Sooyoung reply in unison. Sooyoung is still smug about fitting that description.

Wendy shakes her head and loops arms with Seulgi. “Actually, I’m into the girl next door type now. Have been for two years.”

Seulgi looks at her affectionately. “I’m sorry I had no idea what she looks like. I only have eyes for this one specific med student.”

“I think Wendy unnie should go,” Sooyoung suggests. She pulls Yerim closer with an arm around her shoulders.

Yerim nods. “Out of respect for those of us who are single.”

The med student laughs and looks out for strangers before giving Seulgi a goodbye kiss. “5PM. Don’t be late.”

  
  
  


“I’ve heard so much about you,” Seulgi tells Joohyun when they finally meet. It’s cliché but it’s true.

She makes a mental note to apologize to her girlfriend for misjudging the senior. Seulgi was just being a bit of a brat about Seungwan getting busier because of her clerkship and the student council.

Joohyun is less intimidating once she smiles, bright eyes and hearty laughter she would have fallen for as a teenager. They apologize when bits of their meeting bleed into the conversation.

“There’s a lot of pressure on our alumni to do well,” the senior shares. “The medical college graduates always think they’re better than us because they finished in six years. No offense, Son Seungwan."

"None taken, unnie," the junior clerk replies and they exchange smiles.

Joohyun is a senior intern in the post-graduate medical program. When she realized how overworked nurses are in Korea, she decided another four years of school would be easier. Half her classmates from nursing school already quit their jobs because of the killer workload.

Not wanting to worry Seulgi with literal and figurative horror stories from their shifts, they took interest in Seulgi’s options for an internship next year instead.

She’s apprenticed for different visual directors over their breaks. Each one led to a good reference for the next and Seulgi wanted to work with the country brand marketing director of an international luxury brand next.

“Which one?” the senior asks. Seulgi does not miss that Joohyun is wearing Alexander Wang.

“I haven’t decided yet,” she replies. Damn. She’s wearing a Chanel necklace too.

Joohyun looks at Seungwan approvingly. Not like she needs anyone’s approval, but it's  _ nice _ . She remembers the relief when her parents told her they love Seulgi after meeting for the first time last year.

(Seungwan has always been the mom’s friend’s daughter who parents compare their children to. Finally seeing how happy their daughter is loving another woman, the Kang family loved her even before they met her.)

She's proud Seulgi is building a formidable path for career, considering she didn’t start with the same connections as her peers.

By sunset, Joohyun tells them she thinks their relationship will survive the career-related stress in the years to come.

  
  
  


“I don’t want to think,” Seulgi tells Seungwan once they get back to their apartment. The conversation with Joohyun eased into more casual topics but all the social activities today drained her. “Let’s just order in. It’s on me.”

“Be careful what you say, Kang,” her girlfriend jokes. She scans the leaflets and brochures pinned all over a designated delivery menu cork board in their kitchen. 

When the lease ended at the apartment where they met, it was an opportunity to move closer to the hospital where Wendy did her clinical rotations. They moved into a nicer one-bedroom unit with a full bathroom and an actual kitchen. Even with the higher price point, it was worth it.

It was Wendy who proposed the move, hesitating at first because it was mostly to her benefit and she knew Seulgi was paying her own way through university.

She should have realized things have changed so much.

When she wasn't apprenticing with in-demand visual directors, Seulgi accepted freelance photography and styling projects. Soon, she was receiving enough work to quit her job at the dojo. Her passion for the sport still led her to teach classes from time to time.

Seungwan, on the other hand, finally felt like less of a "leech" (her words, not Seulgi's) when her side gig as a voiceover talent took off even if she only did it when she was free.

  
  
  


Once she places their order for dinner, Wendy pushes Seulgi into the shower.

“No lying on the bed with the clothes you wore outside,” she tells her every time.

When Seulgi gets distracted, as she almost always does, she makes her promise to make it quick. She does. She has mastered Seungwan’s body like an instrument by now.

“We can continue later,” Seungwan tells her, a hand still grabbing at Seulgi’s hair as she comes down from her orgasm. She sighs in relief when Seulgi finally pulls her mouth away from her heat. “Our order–”

“Will be here soon.” Seulgi kisses her chastely. “I know.”

  
  
  


“Later” can’t come soon enough for Seulgi’s standards. It’s been too long since they had this much time together and they just spent a whole day with their friends. They laze around in their room after dinner, doom-scrolling Netflix for half an hour before Wendy gets up to look at the city lights from their window.

Seulgi stumbles to her feet to join her, hugging her from behind with her heart pounding in anticipation. She doesn’t even pretend to care about the view she’s memorized by now.

Her girlfriend was right. How she can’t take her hands off Seungwan is terrible, still is after two years. Seulgi’s hands explore the soft, milky skin under the smaller girl’s shirt. Slender fingers graze over the abs now gaining definition, then up to tease already hardened nipples.

“Here, really?” Seungwan’s chuckle is broken by a moan and she grabs onto the windowsill. They know people can't see them from the street with their lights off but it’s still risky, thrilling. Seulgi hums into her neck, placing wet kisses there, while her hands knead at her girlfriend’s breasts.

Wendy cranes her neck to give her more access, pulling her now-long hair to the side. She didn’t end up keeping the short hair forever after all. Seulgi pulls one of Wendy’s sleeves down to expose her shoulder, pleased by how she’s squirming against her. The shorter girl is already pressing her thighs together. The woman behind her takes it as a cue to slip a hand down her shorts, past her underwear. Both of them gasp when fingers make contact with the wet, velvety heat and Seungwan bucks into the fingers playing with her folds.

“Good?” Seulgi asks, sliding her hand further to find Wendy’s entrance. She teases it with one, then two fingers. When her girlfriend tries to rock herself onto them, Seulgi moves up to work on the smaller girl’s clit.

“Inside,” Wendy moans, nearly begging. “Please, babe.” She breathes out in a mix of pleasure and relief as her girlfriend starts pumping into her. It’s an awkward angle, but flushed and sweaty Seungwan is so pretty in the vague reflection on the glass before them.

“You’re so beautiful,” the taller girl tells her, pulling Seungwan’s shorts and underwear down past her knees so she can fuck her deeper. She’s dripping. Seulgi wonders if the wetness running down her girlfriend’s thighs would reach the floor. With the smell of sex and the wet sounds filling the apartment, Seulgi swears she can cum from all these sensations alone.

Her free arm holds the smaller girl up as she rides out her orgasm, Seungwan calling out her name in strained moans.

“How was that?” Seulgi asks. Seungwan's way of answering surprises Seulgi. She steps out of her shorts and underwear as she catches her breath.

Then, she turns around and wordlessly takes Seulgi’s soaked fingers into her mouth, sucking on them the way she knows drives Seulgi crazy. The digits leave Seungwan’s mouth with a wet pop.

“Wan,” Seulgi gasps out, gently backing up into a chair when Seungwan starts stepping forward. Seulgi wants to kiss her deeper but her girlfriend pushes back just enough to keep the kiss light and agonizingly slow. Smaller, dainty hands remove Seulgi’s shorts and underwear soaked with her arousal. Her own shirt and Seulgi's come off after.

“Sit.”

Seulgi does as she’s told, following the unspoken instructions after. She sits close to the edge, spreads her legs, then pulls them close to her torso by hooking her hands behind her knees. She initiates a lot of the sex they have but she loves it when Seungwan takes control.

The taller girl remembers being embarrassed when she revealed herself to someone else — Seungwan — for the first time. Her girlfriend is more experienced, makes up for what her fingers lack in length with technique and her insanely talented mouth. And she's such an attentive lover.

Seulgi gasps out “yes” a few times when Wendy stops teasing her pussy with lazy patterns using a fingertip and dives in with her tongue. Seulgi is loud, high-pitched, and needy with every lick and stroke. She adjusts herself against her girlfriend’s mouth by moving her hips, trying not to fall off the chair when Wendy starts tongue-fucking her.

Where Seulgi is more eager to make Seungwan cum repeatedly, Seungwan prefers to drag it out and aims for intensity. She’s helping Seulgi hold her legs up now. As Seulgi's cries grow more desperate, Wendy introduces three fingers into her girlfriend's cunt and focuses her tongue and lips on the swollen clit.

“Wan,” she chokes out. “I’m close. Harder, please." 

Wendy does as she’s asked, ready for the act to reach its climax. Every gasp or moan that comes out next is cut short with the force of each thrust. Seulgi usually loves watching her girlfriend eat her out, the visual itself brings her closer to the edge, but this time she throws her head back as she cums. Seulgi sees stars as Seungwan drinks her up.

The smaller girl helps Seulgi sit more comfortably as she recovers, the girl leaning her head back while her hands grip the arm rest. It’s only then Wendy realizes her study chair is soaked with Seulgi's wetness.

(That's a problem for tomorrow's Wendy, she decides.)

When her girlfriend finally comes to her senses, Seungwan lets her taste herself with a deep kiss.

“How was that?” she teases, echoing Seulgi’s question earlier. She’s sitting on her girlfriend’s lap now, one pair of bare, strong thighs on top of another.

Seulgi pretends to think for a while, although in all honesty the orgasm has made her head hazy, eyes unable to tear away from the lustful gaze upon her. Seungwan looks heavenly in post-coital bliss.

“I need a second opinion," she finally says. 

Seungwan’s next sentence is laced with pure want. “Let’s take this to bed so we can examine each other better."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie I was being self-indulgent but anyway. Listen to Wendy's OST "Two Words"!
> 
> This part of the lyrics felt appropriate for this story:  
> "Why me? When did it happen?  
> It's not important  
> Right this moment  
> Right by my side  
> If it's you"
> 
> I plan to write a chapter on how things developed for Seungwan so it feels more complete. Thank you for reading this far!


	9. Wendy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wendy did fall fast and hard.
> 
> Gift for Psycho MV 200M views!

Wendy Shon was the local Protestant church’s favorite heretic. There was simply no voice like hers in the suburbs where they lived while in Canada. The pastor always said it was a shame such a heavenly voice refuses to do the work to enter actual heaven.

Still, her time in the church choir helped her gain enough knowledge about Christianity to pretend when it was necessary. Like when she found a nice apartment when she moved back to Seoul for university and she had no choice but to live with a homophobic Bible thumper with internal misogyny.

Said Bible thumper has finally graduated after Seungwan finished her second year. Before she moved out, she prayed over her for guidance and protection. “And that you may continue to grow stronger in your faith,” she added.

While she remains strong in her non-belief, she could really use that faith right now.

“Honey, did you submit your application for transfer to the medical college program?” her mother asked.

The timing. She was just reading a blog post about the application process and how difficult it was.

_ You have better chances after completing your bachelor’s degree, especially if you’re from the same university. _

“What if I won’t make it, mom?”

“Just try, Seungwan.”

Wendy doesn’t.

  
  
  


She starts considering prayers.

It’s been a while since she posted the ad on the university freedom board. Enrollment for freshmen and transferees started yesterday and continuing students like her are scheduled in two days.

Wendy finishes her weekly room clean up and passes out on her bed and its fresh new sheets.

When she wakes up, there’s a text from two hours ago from an unknown number.

_ Hi. I saw your ad on the freedom board and I’m interested in seeing the place. I’m a freshman, but I’m a 94-liner like you. _

Now that’s an interesting case. She makes a few typos as she rushes to reply, following up with corrections and apologies for replying late. Her potential roommate is kind of funny, she thinks, with the way she teased her about how she really is as busy as advertised.

Her potential roommate is also  _ cute _ .

Wendy is thankful for two things: one, her past self for remembering to make interview questions because she’s a little distracted; two, that  _ cute _ isn’t really her type and she leans more towards the painfully beautiful.

But Kang Seulgi is not just  _ cute _ . When her face relaxes, you can see more of her sharpness and  _ handsomeness _ . Doesn’t help that she has a plain white shirt on and her figure makes it easy for Seungwan to believe that she really was formerly in the Marines and a judo athlete.

The way she seamlessly goes between hot and cute and pretty keeps Seungwan on her toes.

“So am I going to find out your name or that’s for when you’re sure about accepting me as a roommate?” Seulgi asks. Her little laugh makes Seungwan go red, not realizing she zoned out while staring at the other girl’s neck.

  
  
  


Seulgi cooks, which is perfect, because Seungwan is better at baking. Before they fall into the inevitable university routine of instant meals and takeout, they have fun making whatever they like.

Seeing how diligent her new roommate is, studying hard and even supporting herself financially, makes her feel a little guilty every time her parents send her extra money without her asking.

“By the time you graduate,” Wendy says as they compare class schedules. “I’ll still be in med school.”

“I’ll start earning money before you do,” Seulgi jokes.

“You already have,” she replied, pointing out how she saved her salary while in service. “I wish I could stop living off of my parents’ money. But everyone is on their own journey and their own pace, right?"

Her roommate smiles appreciatively. "Right."

  
  
  


Wendy screams into her pillow when she gets back to her bedroom after finishing her lab manuals.

Her roommate is also gay. Seulgi, who she has somehow been developing a crush on despite gross and odd little habits revealing themselves to her as time passes, also likes girls. Seungwan is a girl. She has a chance? Perhaps.

What are the rules about dating your roommate?

She knows Seulgi was just joking about her being a little too eager to help but Wendy cannot resist. 

This girl works so hard after finally getting into the university and program she wants. She couldn’t let Seulgi suffer because of general education subjects which have nothing to do with her major.

It’s not like the help is one-sided. Seulgi helped her assemble a new shelf for her bedroom and she doesn’t slack on her share of cleaning up. When she needs something printed while she’s running late, Seulgi takes over while she rushes between the bedroom and the bathroom to get ready for class. By the time she’s all dressed, the documents are in a folder near her backpack.

So it’s only natural for her to come to Seulgi’s rescue after receiving a drunk text with a link to her current location. It’s a convenient feature and she thanks whoever made that a thing because she’s outside the norebang in 13 minutes.

“Is this your first time drinking?” she asks, grunting as she tries to support the other girl’s weight. There’s a convenience store within sight and she wills herself to just make it to one of the benches. She nags Seulgi for letting the kids make her drink more than she knows she should.

“You’re studying?” Seulgi asks when she returns with some hot (although instant) food and a strong cup of coffee for herself.

“Big quiz tomorrow,” Wendy answers, forgoing a blue highlighter for a yellow one because Seulgi said it was her favorite color.

_ Seungwan _ , she tells herself.  _ Look at her. Stupid drunk. You have a crush on that? God. She’s so red. Her cheeks and nose are so red. It’s cute. Fuck. Study, Seungwan. _

“I’m really sorry for dragging you out here,” the other girl says, finally sounding more comprehensible as she eats.

“You should really, really find other friends,” Wendy sighs.

“Not like you have any.”

She scoffs. “I’m busy.”

“By default, I’m your best friend,” Seulgi says, beaming. She lets out a deep breath. This is ridiculous. That smile is ridiculous.

"Maybe I should take my own advice. Can't have my best friend be an overgrown baby," she shoots back. Seulgi just laughs and that’s another thing she likes about her. Their bickering can get petty and absurd but there’s no real bite to it. It’s addicting and it helps her keep her guard up when Seulgi’s smile would have otherwise disarmed her.

  
  
  


The words just fall out of her gaping mouth. “You have abs.”

Seulgi turns to look at her, bewildered. She’s just trying to reach for something on the cupboard and Wendy is gawking at her. Embarrassing.

“It’s just-” the other girl blushes, tugging her shirt down. It’s not that it could help when the shirt is body-tight and not that long. “They’re not much.”

“You’re too humble,” Wendy decides to tease. “You have that whole 11 line abs thing going on.”

Her roommate pulls her shirt up to look at it herself and Seungwan’s eyes widen. It’s quite a view and Seulgi’s sweats are hanging dangerously low on her hips. Wendy puts a hand over her mouth before anything dumb can come out of it.

“It’s not like I work out specifically to uh… look like this,” Seulgi says, still looking at herself. “They just… kind of happen.”

Seungwan just took a shower but she already feels like she needs another one.

“Do you want to touch?”

She’s pressing her palm against the muscles before she can even say “Are you serious?”

  
  
  


“Maybe you just need to get laid,” she tells herself when she wakes up from another vivid dream.

“But meeting people is too stressful,” she whines into her pillow.

The last time she even had sex was freshman year when she accepted an invite to have some drinks with some kids who also studied abroad. What was her name? She doesn’t even remember what the girl looked like. Was it even good?

Wendy huffs her cheeks and sighs. It’s not even that. If it was just her being horny, she wouldn’t be dreaming about cute dates and girlfriend behavior.

  
  
  


“So there’s this girl in a few of my classes,” Seulgi starts as they sort their laundry together.

Wendy is already bubbling underneath her skin. She wasn’t always a jealous girl. Once upon a time, before all the betrayal and the heartache, she was more trusting and understanding. She tries to tap into the girl she was around four years ago.

How foolish of her to think Seulgi would see her as more than a roommate.

“ _ I _ speak English and  _ I  _ studied abroad,” she huffs when Seulgi goes on to describe her crush. She hopes it comes off more as a ‘what’s so special about her’ rather than her actual hopes of Seulgi  _ seeing _ her.

“She’s tall, Seungwan.”

Of course.

“Like a model.”

“Whatever,” she sighs, starts folding a blanket dramatically.

“I can’t really count on you not to embarrass yourself, Seul. That’s kind of your thing,” she replies when Seulgi expresses concerns about having to teach her crush at the dojo.

If Wendy can survive  _ living _ with her crush, surely Seulgi can survive lessons with hers.

“Gee, thanks. You really are an amazing best friend.”

She smirks. If she can’t have her crush then at least they can be best friends. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? She can indulge in the  _ normal  _ things best friends do, like spending a lot of time together and holding hands and even cuddling.

She gives similar advice to Seulgi despite her brewing jealousy. "If she’s into girls maybe she’ll think you’re cool. It’s a close contact sport so even if you inevitably end up not confessing because you’re awkward as hell, you still get to touch her."

They start making up an absurd scenario about Seulgi having an intense moment with her crush, leading to awkward avoidance, until they both break and share a heated kiss, Seungwan walking over to hold Seulgi’s face in her hands and making kissy faces to demonstrate.

How did she do it without passing out or actually kissing her? Seulgi ruins it by accidentally knocking their foreheads together. She pushes her off and snaps a towel against her ass.

“Work faster.”

  
  
  


The only times Seungwan sees Seulgi on campus is when they go or when they leave together.

It’s odd catching a glimpse of her roommate engaging in conversation with her classmates when Wendy returns from helping a professor carry some things to the faculty center.

She thinks of saying hi but she retreats behind a wall when she recognizes the tall girl beside Seulgi.

Park Sooyoung. A ghost of her past in the flesh talking to Seulgi, the one troubling her heart right now.

Wendy takes another look at the two and Sooyoung has an arm looped with one of Seulgi’s and they’re laughing. She can’t hear them, but she knows how a Joy laugh sounds by how it looks.

She leans her head back against the wall and finds a crucifix because of course, this is a private Catholic university.

“God? Are you making me pay for my sin of being a lesbian?”

  
  
  


_ How does the thing go again? _

"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned," Wendy says awkwardly in a confession booth in the University Chapel.

"When was your last confession?"

"Uh."

The priest sighs. "You won't be the first. If you'd like, let's just proceed with the sin that bothers you the most."

"Is that allowed?" she asks. If she remembers correctly, this is the newly ordained priest who is super young. They introduced him to everyone last semester.

"You're college students," he chuckles. "You lot are sinful without remorse. Did you do something deeply disturbing?"

"Well. Let's just say I acted upon inappropriate thoughts about a dear friend I love and respect."

The priest coughs. "You're confessing  _ this _ ?"

"I feel like a big perv, okay?" Wendy clears her throat. She didn't mean to raise her voice. "I'm sorry. I enjoyed it and felt guilty when I saw my friend the next day."

"How long have you been having these thoughts and what broke your resolve against not acting upon them?"

She sighs. "Since we met, I guess? I thought acting on the urge would put an end to it all."

"I'm assuming it didn't."

She shakes her head, then remembers he can't see her. "No. I think I might be in love with my friend too so…"

"I think this isn't where you should be confessing."

Wendy laughs. "You're pretty chatty aren't you, father?"

He laughs along softly. "You're the first to come in here in days. I have the time. Why not tell your friend about your feelings?"

"They like someone else," she says quietly.

"As a man, men aren't worth it, my child. Guard your heart."

Seungwan coughs. "Um."

There's a pin-drop silence throughout the Chapel.

He exhales deeply. "Your friend is not a man."

"No."

"Is she the first–"

"No, father."

The priest sighs.

"I'm a lesbian," she confesses. "And I'm not sorry about that."

"We're Jesuits," the priest replies. "So no worries. We're  _ progressive _ ."

Wendy shrugs. "What do I do about my guilt, father?"

The priest gives her a penance to perform and tells her to  _ just try confessing _ on her way out.

  
  
  


She prays again, quietly, when Seulgi tells her she doesn’t think she’ll be pursuing her crush.

_ God, please stop sending me mixed signals. _

The girl apparently has a boyfriend. Seulgi found out through a situation that couldn’t be interpreted as anything else and he’s not even ugly. To make matters worse, Seulgi accepted her crush’s offer to become project partners.

“Don’t work on it here,” Wendy says after a deep sigh.

“You’re jealous?” Seulgi teases, a cheek squishing adorably against her knee as she rests it there.

Seungwan hits her with a cushion. “You don’t have a chance with her, why would I be jealous?”

_ Fuck. _ Wrong move.

“So you would be jealous if I had a chance with her?” her roommate asks, a cheeky grin on her face.

“No!” she says immediately, making Seulgi laugh. She says she doesn’t want to be disturbed or let Seulgi give herself the opportunity to do something stupid.

“You really don’t want to see how hot this girl is?” Seulgi asks with a pout.

“Seulgi,” she lets out an exasperated sigh. “You can show me a picture if you really want to show off. Doesn't change that it's not going anywhere. You're smarter than this."

"Me? Smart? That's fresh."

She reaches over to touch her cheek and rub a thumb across it. How adorable. Annoying. “You are. Except you’ve been talking to me about her for a while and you haven't even told me her name. I was starting to think she’s hideous and you’re embarrassed by how much you like her."

“Oh,” Seulgi beams, leaning into Wendy’s hand. Why can’t it be like this instead? Seulgi tells her she wasn’t expecting Seungwan to know who the girl is, except she does and this is the worst possible way things could have turned out.

Maybe God  _ is _ punishing her. 

She ends up squeezing Seulgi’s cheek just a bit harder. “Joy? Joy Park?”

Seulgi tries to pull away, wincing. "You know her?"

“She led me on in high school!” she says, giving Seulgi’s cheek a firm pat. “You made the right decision not to pursue her.”  _ For your sake and mine _ , she adds in her head.

“You let a younger girl lead you on?”

Seungwan pushes her off and sighs. She tells Seulgi that Sooyoung has always been gorgeous and sweet. “We were really good friends then I realized I had feelings for her. She's not a bad person. Sooyoung just thrives on attention and affection. I was wrong to think it was ever going anywhere."

Her roommate asks if she knew Sooyoung moved back here. She shrugs. It’s better for her to pretend not to know, she supposes. It’s not like she can tell her she saw them and chickened out.

"I got busy. We lost touch. And now… look at you."

Seulgi shrugs back.

“A boyfriend though?” Seungwan grimaces. Sooyoung was never clear about whether she liked guys or girls, or both. She was super affectionate with everyone.

“Let’s date each other instead,” Seulgi mumbles. She’s laughing to herself and it kind of pierces Seungwan’s heart that to Seulgi, it's an absurd idea. Seungwan manages to outdo her.

“Fake date just to see how she reacts to it?” she asks, although knowing herself she probably looks like she can’t believe what she’s saying either.

"You should really stop entertaining my bad ideas."

"I should," Seungwan laughs. Oh but liking your roommate in itself is a bad idea. Falling for her, even. Why not just go full stupid?

Seulgi lightly kicks her calf. "Do you think she would buy it? Am I someone she would think you would date?"

The Wendy she knows wouldn’t. “No offense,” she starts, getting another kick when she laughs. “I’m into the unattainably perfect kind of girl. You’re more of a girl next door, if the girl next door had abs.”

_ Get a grip,  _ she tells herself. Seungwan’s grateful Seulgi is looking away. Her mind headed straight to the gutter and she’s sure her thoughts would show on her face.  _ Fucking perv. _

"Well, a lot of people don't end up dating their type," Seulgi reasons.

In other words, Seungwan is not Seulgi’s type. How much damage can Seungwan’s heart take tonight?

"What's your type, then?"

"The kind of girls who are so gorgeous they make it hard to just talk."

She holds a hand up to her chest, faking a gasp although the pain is pretty much real. “So you’re saying I’m ugly because you can talk to me so comfortably?”

“You’re pretty!” Seulgi says defensively. She almost melts, almost asks  _ then why not me _ . “But even if you have a mean streak towards me–"

She snorts. If only she knew it was her way of trying not to fall so deep.

“You’re super polite and forward with your kindness,” Seulgi continued. “It’s impossible not to be comfortable with you.”

Seungwan blushes. She’s really not used to receiving compliments, worse when they come from Seulgi. "I think you can convince Sooyoung you're in love with me if we tried.”

She watches Seulgi seriously consider the idea and she buries her head in her hands in frustration. Are they really going to do this? No matter how this is going to turn out, Seungwan is going to go through a lot of hurt.

"It might work,” Seulgi says after a while. “I haven't said or implied that I'm single. Or that I've never kissed a girl."

“You’re a virgin?” she blurts out. Seulgi has never been kissed? When she looks like that, is endearing, kind, hardworking, smart, and absolutely charming? Why does Seungwan have to say things in the worst way?

"You didn't have to put it that way. Thanks. Kang Seulgi is a late bloomer, what's new," Seulgi mumbles. Seungwan would worry if Seulgi didn’t look like she was about to laugh at herself.

Seungwan scoots up closer and takes Seulgi's hands in hers. "No, babe. I'm not judging you! We all lead different lives. It's just surprising, you know?"

“Hm.”

"You're attractive, I'm not gonna lie,”  _ and I’m actually probably in love with you _ . “I guess it's just hard to meet girls who are into girls around here?" Well, not in college. But this is Seulgi’s first time in college.

Seulgi nods and her shoulders ease. “And I don’t want it to be just anyone. Just so I can say I have.”

"Wow, a hopeless romantic," Seungwan squeezes her hands. This girl. She’s  _ perfect _ exactly because she isn’t. Anyone else she’d find it cheesy but Seungwan finds herself falling more. "I should have known from all the romantic comedies you make me watch."

"You say that as if you don't squeal or sob when we watch them," Seulgi counters.

Seungwan rolls her eyes and tells her she doesn’t want to go hard on it, but she’s willing to do the whole pretend girlfriend thing. “Haven’t done anything stupid in a while,” she adds for effect. She’s been doing stupid this entire time.

"Stop. You're making me actually consider it."

Wendy shrugs. "Call me babe when I call while you're working together. If she asks to hang out outside of working together, tell her you have prior commitments. Let my name slip during one of the calls."

"Wendy or Seungwan?"

She grins. "See, that's more like it! Anyway. She used to call me Wannie too."

"Ah. No wonder you hated it."

"But you're an exception," she says sweetly. "Just be natural about it, alright? If we ever have to act like a couple in person, just play along with what I do."

Seulgi sighs. "Alright. One month left in the semester. It's fun doing something dumb once in a while."

Seungwan cups her cheeks and kisses her nose. At least she can let herself have that, laughing when Seulgi scrunches up her face. “Good girl. And I'm happy you never told her you're single and never been kissed before. That's such a lame fuckboy move."

One that she still finds endearing even as her stomach sinks in fear of how this will play out.

  
  
  


“You can still see other people, I guess,” Seulgi says when Seungwan tells her some Business major asked her out on a coffee date.

It’s not true. She doesn’t even know anyone other than Seulgi and Sooyoung outside of her program. Wendy tells Seulgi it would be the last one for a while, because despite its size, word gets around the university rather fast.

Seulgi frowns. “Look, we don’t have to do this. What if the right person comes along and you can’t because you’re ‘with’ me?”

“It’s okay,” she reassures her. Why is Seulgi so kind and considerate but also so oblivious? She wants to yell that Seulgi is the right person for her. “Realistically, I’m getting too busy for dating.”

  
  
  


Seulgi told her she loves her. Not in that way, of course. Over the phone, while pretending to be her girlfriend in front of Sooyoung. What was throwing her off was that the phone call was unplanned and she said it back. For her, none of it had been an act.

She’s getting a little absentminded these days. Her thoughts keep wandering to Seulgi and it’s no good if she wants to keep her grades up. She remembered to wake up early and make a cute lunchbox for the two but she forgot to bring her own keys on her way out.

When they compared class schedules, Wendy took note of any overlaps and when they expect to be free or home. She found it strange but endearing when Seulgi asked for a copy of hers but it’s turning out to be useful.

“How long have you been waiting?” Seungwan asks when she finds Seulgi leaning outside their classroom door.

“I’ve been free for an hour,” Seulgi answers, smiling. “So I got us bubble tea before coming here.”

“You remember my order?” she asks as she receives her drink. Wendy immediately puts the straw in and takes a sip. They just had a hellish quiz and it was just what she needed. “Thank you, really. I’m getting suspicious.”

Seulgi gives her a surprised expression. “What?”

“How have you never dated before? You’re way too good as a fake girlfriend,” she teases.

“I’m just... doing me,” her roommate says, looking rather timid. “There’s no reason for me to pretend right now, Wan.”

Seungwan shakes her head laughing, hiding her blushing face with her hair by looking down. She follows as Seulgi starts to walk their route back to their apartment. The two sip on their drinks, occasionally commenting on things as they walk by, and Seungwan finds her hand holding Seulgi’s as she always does.

“Hey, Wan.”

“Yeah?”

The taller girl smiles. “Just a thought but… I don’t think dating you would be so bad.”

  
  
  


Maybe Seungwan lied about not going hard with the fake girlfriend thing. She’s baking brownies for Seulgi after deciding to visit her at the dojo for the first time.

Seulgi being Seulgi, Wendy has fallen deep. So deep, she doesn’t even have a reaction when she sees Sooyoung waiting at the bus stop as she comes around the corner.

Heading straight to the dojo was a good idea. The receptionist tells her Seulgi is in the staff room after getting injured from a sparring session.

“My sparring partner already apologized,” Seulgi tells her when she comes in looking like she’s ready to fight. It’s silly. She knows nothing about fighting but her roommate getting hurt has her all fired up.

She lets out a deep sigh. “Did you already wash the wound?”

The athlete nods. “It’s still bleeding though.”

Wendy inspects the cut and it looks like it’s deeper than the usual accidental scratch.

“What do we do if by some twist of fate, she likes me?” Seulgi asks while Seungwan is trying to gauge the damage.

She sighs. Tries to swallow down the thickness in her throat. “We kind of have a more urgent issue at hand, Seul. You’re lucky I dropped by.”

Wendy presses a piece of gauze against the cut and lets out another deep breath. No matter how sweet Seulgi can be, Seungwan isn’t the one she’s thinking about in this way.

“Thanks for the brownies, by the way.”

“You’re welcome,” she mumbles. “Though I doubt you got to have one.”

"Did you see her? She was on her way home when you got here."

Seungwan nods. "She didn't see me. Which is good. I wouldn't have known what to say."

The athlete shrugs. “Really, though. I know I can be oblivious but the stuff she says… she even broke it off with the guy. What if she likes me?”

“Did you hit your head that hard?” she asks, her voice rising slightly. She looks down at the amount of blood on the gauze and frowns. “Shit. Maybe you did. I think you need stitches.”

She gets up to find the medical supplies and takes deep breaths to stop the tears threatening to leave her eyes.  _ Idiot. You know what you were getting into.  _ It takes her longer than necessary to get what she needs. A tear falls as she squeezes her eyes shut before turning back.

Seungwan barely hears what Seulgi says when she sits down and goes straight to closing the wound. She can feel Seulgi’s eyes on her but if she speaks now, she might cry or say something she would regret.

After a while, she reminds Seulgi she was the one who decided not to pursue Joy.

“Because I thought she had a boyfriend who turned out to not be a boyfriend.”

"And you might end up as a not-girlfriend too," Wendy tells her. "Are you okay with that?" Because Wendy isn’t right now. It’s getting so hard to breathe.

Seulgi shrugs. "Maybe it doesn't have to be serious."

She exhales slowly through her mouth to calm herself as she inspects her work. Her fingers are shaking and she hates it when Seulgi once complimented her on how steady they were. “So you’ll ‘break up’ with me, if that was the case?”

“I’m just asking,” Seulgi says defensively. “And it’s not like what we have is real.”

Why is she so mad when Seulgi was only telling the truth?

“Huh.” Wendy pulls back. She knows it isn’t real, but she’s growing more desperate in wishing it was. She doesn’t recognize the voice that comes out of her mouth. “Never thought you were capable of being an asshole.”

  
  
  


She hasn’t talked to her mom about girl trouble in years, but it’s the only thing she can think of right now.

Her mom was the first person she came out to, mixed in during a heated conversation about how she was acting out while studying overseas. She wishes she could have said it in a calmer situation, not when she was accusing her mom about not knowing or understanding who she is. Especially when her mom took it so well despite the resentment in 15 year old Wendy’s voice.

“Isn’t it 2AM for you, honey?”

“Mom... ”

There’s that voice again, when her mom realizes she’s been crying. “Oh, baby. Is it school?”

Seungwan laughs weakly. “No, mom. Uhh. It’s been a while but… there’s this girl.”

“You know the right girl wouldn’t keep you questioning what you mean to her,” her mom says right away. She sighs because she knows it always seems to be the same issue. Wendy starts to think she’s the problem.

“Has dad ever…”

Her mom says yes, he did but they worked it out. It’s quiet on the line for a while and her mother knows to just wait. It’s not a good idea. Her thoughts and feelings and fears fill her head.

“Mom,” she sobs. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Maybe you can talk to Seulgi about it. Maybe she would know. You’re best friends, right?”

Seungwan swallows and inhales shakily. “Well.”

“Seungwan,” her mother says, the concern showing through her voice.

The tears start streaming again and her voice breaks as she speaks. “I didn’t mean to.”

“Baby, no,” her mom says. “It’s not your fault. You just have such a big heart.”

“I love her,” she breathes out. “But she’s hanging on to what if’s about someone else. I don’t know. I want to tell her but I don’t know.”

“What are your fears?”

“Rejection,” she answers. “No. Losing her. She’s not just the girl I love.”

Her mom completes the thought for her. “She’s your best friend.”

She remembers something she told her mom a while ago, happily talking about how Seulgi just _ gets _ her.  _ “She might as well be my soulmate.” _

  
The memory pushes her to break even more than she already has and her mom lets her cry, whispering reassuring words from the other end of the line.

After a while, her mother asks, “What do you love about her?”

Where does she begin?

“I was screwed the moment I met her,” Seungwan says, laughing at herself. “I liked her instantly. I can’t help it. She’s cute  _ and _ hot.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She could clearly see in her head the way her mother is frowning.

“I was hoping it wouldn’t grow past attraction,” she responds. “I kind of hoped I’d learn something about her that would turn me off. That didn’t happen. Even when she told me about the girl she liked, said she wouldn’t pursue her, and then suddenly she’s entertaining what if’s.”

“What do you love about her?” her mother repeats.

“Oh mom,” she sobs, laughing through her tears. “She’s everything.”

“She’s attractive, smart, kind, and you feel like she understands you?”

Seungwan can’t help but smile. Is she really that simple and predictable?

“Yeah,” she sighs. “She’s so… she’s so thoughtful, mom. She does so much for me without even thinking it’s a big deal. She listens to everything I have to say, makes me feel like I’m interesting even if I’m just rambling. She’s not used to physical affection but she always ends up holding me in some way. She always knows what to say. There’s something so reassuring and so charming about her.”

“Maybe I should have taken a hint from the way you’ve been talking about her even before,” her mom says. “Even as a friend, she sounds so good to you. But is she good for you, Seungwan?”

She shakes her head. Then nods. She clicks her tongue. “I don’t know. She could be.”

“She won’t be if she’s still not sure about not pursuing that girl.”

Seungwan closes her eyes and feels the tears falling down her cheeks again. “Why can’t it just be me, mom? We’re so good together. I can give back everything she gives me. I don’t think I have ever lacked for her.”

“I don’t know, baby,” her mom says. “But I’m happy you’ve changed the way you think about this. I’m happy you know you’re good enough to be loved.”

  
  
  


She avoids Seulgi for a few days. It’s the last few weeks of the semester and she blames it on being busy. Burying herself in schoolwork has always seemed to work. She tells herself she needs this break from her.

It’s terrible. Seulgi doesn’t even seem to understand why she’s upset, or that she’s upset at all.

Seulgi can be dense, she knows that, but when she pays attention she’s amazing.

The worst part is Wendy isn’t losing feelings for Seulgi. Not one bit.

They make up when Seulgi finally catches on. It was hard not to just give in the moment Seulgi asked to talk but she wanted to make her understand the gravity of it.

She decides to give Seulgi the objective answer to why what she did was terrible. It would reflect badly on her, it would hurt Sooyoung, and Wendy has been there before. An ex left a girl to be with her, and ended up doing the same thing to her.

It’s a relief she has those answers to offer. She’s not ready to tell Seulgi she’s in love with her, not when Seulgi remains unsure.

Seulgi is noticeably different after that conversation. She doesn’t stop at being thoughtful. She’s become attentive. She picks up on Seungwan’s little shifts in moods and goes beyond to make things easier for Seungwan when she has her own problems to worry about.

And she’s talking about Sooyoung less and less, unless it’s related to the project.

Wendy doesn’t want to get her hopes up. She continues to fall for her regardless.

  
  
  


It’s such an old move. It’s not like she has anyone else to ask but she’s happy when Seulgi agrees to a blood extraction. It’s self-indulgent, the way she takes her time in admiring and touching Seulgi’s veins and arm muscles. But she notices the way Seulgi also blushes when Wendy realizes she’s taking too long. Seulgi says yes to a few more practice sessions, only for Wendy to fumble when she catches her best friend looking at her with a new glint in her eyes.

“Feed me for a week,” Seulgi says, wincing when she sees the bruise starting to form.

“I’m so sorry,” she apologizes for the nth time. “I will. Anything you want. I’ll do it.”

  
  
  


Anything. She means it. She listens to Seulgi’s little rants, to her practice presentations. She takes time out of her day to make their meals, even meeting at the campus for lunch when they’ve never done it before.

And when the day came, she helped Seulgi get ready for the presentation.

Seulgi looks good in the slacks and white button-down alone, but she wanted to try wearing a tie and a more casual blazer. Seungwan thinks it would be the death of her.

They talk about Seulgi’s worries about presenting in English in the future, and Wendy teases her about getting lessons from her and her new friend Joy. Seulgi barely reacts to mentions of Sooyoung anymore.

“You still think we’ll be friends in two years? You and I?” Seulgi asks timidly.

“Of course,” she frowns, slipping the tie under the collar of Seulgi’s shirt. More than that, she hopes.

Seungwan adjusts Seulgi’s collar and tugs it to bring her closer. There’s a very small distance between them and she focuses on tying the knot. She remembers telling Seulgi how she learned how to tie one. They had one for their uniform in middle school, but she used a fake one until Avril Lavigne inspired her to learn how.

When she’s done tying it, she tugs at it again and tries to stay composed when Seulgi stumbles forward.

“Too tight?” Seungwan asks. Their noses are basically touching and Seungwan would look up to meet her eyes if it wouldn’t end up with their lips brushing. She realizes she’s not the only one frozen in their situation. “Seulgi, you’re not breathing.”

She hears Seulgi inhale sharply. “Yeah, a little tight.”

Wendy gives her a small smile and adjusts the knot. With the way Seulgi looked after stepping back, she thinks she might not be the only one believing in something more.

  
  
  


There’s an outfit she’s been meaning to wear but she just never had the reason to. When Seulgi texts her with clear panic in her words about Sooyoung insisting to meet her, she decides it’s the perfect occasion.

She knows she looks good. It’s an off-shoulder top and a hip-hugging black skirt that ended at her midthigh. She puts on a pair of boots and goes off to find the Italian restaurant located in a more expensive part of the city.

Wendy pouts when Seulgi tells her she looks  _ fine _ , but immediately sees that Seulgi’s expression tells her it’s more than just that.

It’s a little jarring to see Sooyoung again, but even Seungwan would admit she grew a lot more beautiful. The younger girl apologizes for leading her on years ago and she says it’s water under the bridge. She has Seulgi now. Someone who is good to her  _ and _ good for her.

  
When Sooyoung asks how they got together, she decides to tell her the truth of the story and the part she wishes to be true. She fell hard and fast, and Seulgi caught up later.

“You have to be careful, unnie,” Joy tells her. “She’s  _ quite _ popular.”

Seungwan squeezes Seulgi’s hand. “Is that so?” She laughs. “Sorry to them but I’m never letting her go.”

  
  
  


She feels a little bolder. Seulgi accepts affection much more easily now, even the cuddles. When the other girl mentions wanting to learn makeup, she uses one of her sanity breaks from her study sessions to try something she’s always wanted to see on Seulgi.

It’s dramatic eye makeup and a neutral lip, but she enjoys the way Seulgi’s milk tea-like skin looks with what she did. She’s satisfied with herself and pleased to have an excuse to look at Seulgi’s face for a long period of time. When she applies the lip color with a finger, she starts thinking about what it would be like to kiss her.

“What do you think?” she asks, showing her roommate the outcome on a compact mirror.

She thought she wasn’t seeing it right, but Seulgi is looking past the mirror and into her eyes.

“Pretty.”

Seulgi has called her pretty before but now she knows she wasn’t imagining there was something new about the way she looked at her. She has been waiting for this moment and now that it’s here, she doesn’t know what to do.

“Do you want to take pictures or do you need help taking it off?” Wendy asks, voice quieter. The atmosphere changes, but she couldn’t bring herself to move from the way she was hovering over Seulgi.

“I’ll take it off. It’s rather late,” Seulgi replies, bringing a hand up to caress Wendy’s upper arm. She softens instantly. “But I’ll stay up with you, if you’d like.”

Not like Wendy knows she wouldn’t have trouble staying up after what she had just realized.

“Yeah,” she smiles. “I’d like that.”

  
  
  


“Mom?”

“Yes, honey?”

Seungwan smiles. “Hi. First of all, I lied to you last time. I didn’t submit my application for the transfer because I was too scared.”

“I figured,” her mom laughs. “You would have been accepted.”

“You know me too well,” she pouts. “I submitted it today. Seulgi learned about it and went to the registrar herself to see if they would credit all the courses I finished so far. They will. They only needed my grades for the first two years of undergrad too.”

“You’ll get in. I just know,” her mom replies. “About Seulgi…”

“Oh,” Wendy says, looking at the girl sleeping on the other side of her bed. Seulgi fell asleep while trying to stay up with her again. She reaches out to lightly touch the girl’s cheek. “Well. I’m still in love with her.”

“Well,” her mother laughs softly. “What happened to her and the other girl?”

She contemplates, gathers her confidence. Wendy asks her mom if she remembers Park Sooyoung.

“Oh, Seungwan,” she sighs. “This whole thing is more complicated than I thought.”

And she doesn’t even know about the whole fake dating thing.

“We talked,” Wendy shares. “She apologized about leading me on back then. I feel like I got rid of a thorn I didn’t even know I had.”

“And I’m happy to hear that,” her mom replies. She knows too well how it affected her daughter. With the way she cautions her about Seulgi, it’s clear she doesn’t want it to happen again. “And Seulgi?”

Wendy nods. “We haven’t talked about it but… something has changed, mom. I think…”

“She has to tell you herself, Seungwan,” her mother says with just a hint of sterness.

Seulgi stirs in her sleep and Wendy puts a blanket over her. “I think it won’t be long until then.”

  
  
  


When Seulgi finally confesses, it feels like finally finding out how the last few pieces of a puzzle should fit. Wendy is on her lap, heart racing from how they just told each other they’re in love with each other.

She holds her face gently as if it was an illusion she was afraid to break. Seulgi’s eyes are full of awe and love and desire. Seungwan has nearly forgotten how it feels for someone to look at her that way, and she wishes it would be Seulgi forever.

When they finally kiss, it feels like coming home after a long and tiring day. She makes it gentle, wants to make it memorable for Seulgi, wants to let her direct the pace. It’s slow and wonderful. Careful, and she almost curses herself for the sound she made when their tongues touch. It’s a hot, passionate kiss compared to the first and she’s happy to be consumed by this fire.

She can’t even act upset for too long when Seulgi tells her she lies to get hot girls in bed with her. “You think I’m hot?”

Seulgi nods. “And I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Seungwan isn’t the type to go all the way after the first kiss but Seulgi doesn’t know that. The way Seulgi moved their hips together teasingly made her want to chase that friction. Seulgi shyly but eagerly explored Seungwan’s skin from under her shirt and the kiss alone is easily the best she’s ever had and Seulgi helps her ride through her orgasm, holds her as she tips past the peak of pleasure.

She says yes when Seulgi asks to take things to bed, surprises herself when she brings up the use of toys right away. She’s done her waiting, right? It’s easy, so easy, to make the decision to make Seulgi’s first time unforgettable. The taller girl is sensitive, clearly overwhelmed with pleasure even if she’s eager to please.

Inexperienced too, so she teaches her patiently and asks her to pay attention to what Seungwan is doing to her. She pleasures every bit of Seulgi with her mouth and her hands, brings her close to the edge and then pulls back, letting her experience everything Wendy has to offer before bringing her to her own piece of heaven.

Wendy believes it when Seulgi tells her she’s beautiful while she’s returning the favor.

  
  
  


They’re more than happy to spend summer together. Seulgi has her job, Seungwan has her summer classes for a smooth transition into the 6-year medical college program come fall.

There’s only happiness and excitement in their apartment. They’ve taken to calling it home.

When Seulgi meets Seungwan parents for the first time as her girlfriend on video call, there’s a strongly worded reminder from her mother to treat her daughter right.

Her response only makes Wendy fall even deeper.

“I will. I don’t ever want to lose her.”


End file.
